


Bitter Partings; Painful Truths

by Katlover98



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Depression, Dubious Consent, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Loathing, Top!Mark Pellegrino, alcoholic Jensen, asshole!jensen, bottom!Jared, top!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6233221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katlover98/pseuds/Katlover98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPN Kinkmeme</p><p>Jensen finds out Jared cheated on him with his worst rival. They divorce but Jared asks for nothing in return. Jensen can't stop thinking as to why Jared cheated and soon those thoughts turn to revenge. But not everything is what it seems and soon Jensen finds himself finding truths he might wish never came to light. </p><p>Prompt inside</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Amargas Separaciones; Dolorosas Verdades](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213571) by [Ainis_Adr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ainis_Adr/pseuds/Ainis_Adr)



> http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/89907.html?thread=35385395#t35385395
> 
> When Jensen divorced Jared for adultery, Jared should've shouted and cried, got furious, demanded things, been vindictive – after all isn't that what cheating bastards do? But Jared quietly signed everything, never contested anything, never asked for anything, or took anything aside from the pups, hell even his clothes were left behind. Jensen should've been happy Jared hadn't made a scene but it only unsettled him. How had the man who he'd loved so desperately, who'd broken his heart just so quietly left? The question gnawed at him, driving Jensen to drunk until months later and a twelve step programme later, things seem very different to a finally sober Jensen. He needs answers, answers that only Jared can provide. But after finally locating his ex-husband, to his surprise Jared is back in his home town, leading a quiet life and very single, he hasn't even gone on a date since the divorce. Jared refuses to talk to him and his friends/family won't talk either. It shouldn't matter, they're finished so why can't Jared just admit what he did, all Jensen wants is the truth, why Jared betrayed their marriage vows. But with Jared not giving any answers and Jared's friends and family giving him the cold shoulder, Jensen has to dig around, delving back into their marriage, but as new things come to light, things that Jensen doesn't want to face, will he be able to handle the painful truth once he finds out? He always thought nothing could hurt worse than Jared cheating on him, but the truth turns out much, much worse, and could destroy both him and Jared, because as once Oscar Wilde said: the pure and simple truth, is rarely pure and never simple… bottom!Jared only please!

 

“Mr. Padalecki, are you sure this is what you want?”

Jensen Ackles was grinding his teeth while Jared gave a whispered ‘yeah.’ What was he playing at? Jared was Jensen’s, soon to be ex, husband. After ten years of marriage Jensen had found Jared getting fucked by Jensen’s main rival in the international shipping industries. After the surprise and betrayal had passed Jensen had felt nothing but anger. The man he loved, the man he believed loved him back had cheated on him with his enemy, in their home, on their bed.

Now Jared and Jensen were in a court room getting a divorce and Jared hadn’t even hired a lawyer to fight for half of the assets they had. All he asked for were the mutts they had adopted out of the shelter and for Jensen to pay for his court fees… Actually, now that he thought about it, Jared hadn’t even asked for that, the judge just put that in there.

Jensen didn’t know what Jared’s game was. He was an unfaithful bastard, so why wasn’t he asking for the half of the joint account, why wasn’t he asking for the summer house, the penthouse, or their home where they stayed most of the time? Jared wasn’t shouting and throwing tantrums and trying to tarnish Jensen’s reputation by calling him names and making up lies to paint Jensen in a bad light. He wasn’t contesting anything or asking for anything which made Jensen highly suspicious. Cheating whores always fought for what they had no right to.

“Alright, Mr. Padalecki, if you are sure. I rule all of the assets, properties, and other items to Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki will get the money that is his from the joint account, the dogs, and his fees will be paid by Mr. Ackles. Case dismissed.”  Jared left as soon as the judge dismissed the case, his head down. He didn’t even give Jensen one last glance. Jensen stayed with his lawyers. They were happy with how easy the case was and how Jensen had stayed with everything. Jensen ignored them, he wanted to follow Jared and demand an answer. Why throw away so many years? They’ve been married since Jared turned eighteen ten years ago. They started dating when Jared was fifteen and Jensen was eighteen. That’s thirteen years thrown away like garbage. They’ve been through rough times together and always pulled through. ‘ _Not on this,_ ’ his brain perversely added.

He gritted his teeth once more and let the man he had loved (who he thought foolishly had loved him back) walk out of his life. ‘ _Good riddance.’_

 

A week later, Jensen was still trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong. He loved Jared and had given him everything. He bought him stuff, adored on him. The sex was beyond fantastic. Even with his crazy working hours Jensen always found time to just be with Jared. They went on vacations, traveled the world. Jensen had honestly thought everything was right with his marriage. He heard his name on the TV and looked up.

Apparently, being rich meant his life was public to everyone. He saw how the people painted Jensen as the bad guy even though he was the cheated party.

“I mean, Jared Padalecki got nothing. He left quietly. If anything, I think Jensen Ackles is in fault. Who knows what he did to drive Jared away.”

“Tell me about it. Maybe Jared found out that Jensen was cheating on him first.”

“If anything Ackles should’ve at least tried to make it work instead of kicking the man out with no money, no house, and no job.”

Jensen turned off the television.

“Those bastards, _he_ cheated on _me._ ” Maybe that was Jared’s angle, painting Jensen as the bad guy while he got sympathy from the public.

Jensen wanted to feel angry but really all of that had left. The only thing he felt was heartbreak. The man he had loved almost all his life had cheated on him and then left. Jensen looked around there, _his_ , home.  It felt so cold and empty without Jared’s laughter, without the sound of the two mutts running around begging for attention. Jared had always brought happiness anywhere he was. He was friendly and loyal… Or so Jensen had thought and he felt he was going insane without knowing as to _why._

_Why_ had Jared cheated? Did he felt unloved? Had Jensen done something wrong? Dammit, why hadn’t Jared said anything instead of falling into the arms of the man Jensen hated most? An hour passed and he still had no answer.

So he did the only thing he could; he got up, poured himself a drink and proceeded to get drunk.

 

A few weeks passed and Jensen’s closest friend was the bottle. Actually, at the moment, Jensen had gotten drunk and now he was in their room; no, _his_ room, looking around the empty feeling space. Jared had left everything behind, clothes, jewelry, photos…everything. Jensen didn’t even know when Jared had come in to get the mutts but he did and now he was all alone. Jensen took another swig of from the bottle.

 

It was noon when he woke up and heard the phone ringing. Fuck, there was a jackhammer in his head and the ringing was making it worse. He rolled over and put a pillow over his head to block out the sound. He heard a faint beep and knew it had gone to voicemail.

“Jensen, it’s Alona, you know the woman who has had to keep the ship afloat.” Jensen groaned. Alona was his personal…everything. She set up meetings and made sure Jensen got to them on time. She was smart and had graduated valedictorian at Stanford business school. By the sounds of it, she was the one taking care of the company. Really, Jensen couldn’t have asked for someone better to be in his place. He didn’t truly trust the members of the board expect of the expectation of Misha and knew that between the two of them everything would be fine. The message ended and Jensen got up to fill his tumbler with vodka.

“Here’s to round…whatever,” and he drank it all in one go.

 

Jensen woke up with a pounding headache and knocks on the door. He was surrounded by empty bottles; he should probably let housekeeping in again. He hadn’t left the house except to buy booze and had avoided talking to his friends and family members. He heard the knocking again which agitated his headache.

“Go ‘way, no one home, ‘r’ght now,” he gave a hiccup and started wafting through the bottles in the hope of finding one with liquor in it. He picked one up and felt a slosh. He gave a shrug and drank its content giving a frown as it was kind of flat. Whatever, booze is booze. He was so busy drinking he didn’t hear someone unlocking the door until he heard a voice.

“What the fuck, Jensen?”

“Hey, Alona,” hic, “How you’ve be’n? I would get ‘p ta give you a drink, but,” he waved around, “I th’nk I drank ‘t all.” He took another swig from the bottle.

“Jesus, Jensen, it’s been _months_ since you and Jared…” Jensen threw the bottle he was drinking from and it shattered on the wall. Alona didn’t even flinch.

“Don’t you dare say that whore’s name,” he shouted. Misha decided to enter in that moment.

“Fuck, Jensen, it smells like a distillery in here.”

“I know, awes’om’ right?” he slurred out.

“No, not awesome, come on, you need help.”

“I h’ve all da help I could need h’re,” he raised a bottle for emphasis.

“No you don’t, Ackles,” Alona shouted.

“Whate’er,” he burped out.

“The company cannot keep going like this. Misha and I aren’t enough, we need the head honcho. You!”

“Get Josh or Mackenzie to do it.”

“They’re busy with their own careers. Besides you promised your father on his deathbed you would take care of the company.”

Jensen gave an exasperated groan, “I don’t wanna,” he whined.

“Too bad,” Alona yelled. “Are you going to get help or not?”

Jensen found another bottle that wasn’t empty and took a swig, “I’ll go with not.”

“Fine, just remember you asked for it,” Misha said.

He looked up and saw his brother Josh and sister Mackenzie coming through the door and two orderlies behind them.

“Thought Alona said you guys w’re busy.”

“Not too busy to help you, little brother,” Josh answered.

“Jen, we’re worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Jensen, Jared cheated on you and he left. That doesn’t mean you can use that as an excuse to let the company go down under.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jensen threw the bottle he had in his hand in his brother’s direction but missed by a mile. “Why don’t you take care of ‘t if you’re so worried.”

“I’m busy with my family and own company.”

“Whatever,” he snorted.

“Jen, please for me?” Mackenzie's eyes were wide, pleading with her older brother. Any other time Jensen would’ve done anything to please her sister but right now he just wanted another drink. He got up and went to the cabin where he had the booze.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, go get him.”

Jensen felt hands around his body and struggled to get loose. He just wanted one more drink. No, he _needed_ it. It was the only thing that could numb the pain in his heart.

“Lemme’ go, bastards.” He gave a weak kick before he felt someone get his legs. Both his brother and Misha were helping the orderlies restrain them.

“Mother fuck—ugh, let me go bastards.”

“Jensen, they’ll help,” Alona told him calmly. Jensen tried to fight but eventually he was put in an ambulance and restrained to be taken to a rehab center.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t owe anyone, they belong to themselves. I’m just using their names to write a purely fictional story.
> 
> Reading Warnings from Tags
> 
> I will give a general warning that I know nothing about business so if something is wonky just know that it’s all fiction.
> 
> Enjoy

It’s been nine months since Jared and Jensen had divorced. Jensen lost himself in the bottle for three months and went to rehab for two. He came out sober and was ready to take on the world. Mostly. Now he was celebrating his fourth month anniversary since he got out of rehab and still Jared was always in his mind.

Even now when he should be paying attention to the important businessman in front of him that had pitched good ideas as to why they should invest in him, Jensen’s mind kept wandering back to Jared. Why had Jared done what he did? How could’ve he thrown away so many good years together? Was it money, boredom, what? Jensen mentally shook himself. He needed to pay attention, not think about his cheating whore of an ex-husband. He dove himself into his meeting and counter offered everything the man named until he got the best deal he could.

 

Eighteen months after his divorce and Jensen went from being a stubborn, headstrong businessman to a cold-hearted, unyielding, bastard. Whatever, he didn’t care what people thought of him. The business was his only companion now and it had never betrayed him. He cut off all contacts with any old friends of his and Jared. It would’ve been too painful. Truthfully the only friends he had kept were Alona and Misha. His brother and sister went back to their lives once they were sure Jensen and the company would be alright and had left.

Alona entered his office without knocking. Anybody else would’ve had their heads bit off but that just didn’t work with Alona. Besides, the woman had seen him at his lowest; there wouldn’t be any point in him scolding her for entering unannounced.

“Here’s the paperwork you wanted. Are you sure about this?”

Jensen took the papers out of her hands and sifted through them. They were about one company he wanted to see crushed. He didn’t want them to merge; he didn’t want to buy it out. He wanted to see it completely destroyed. The head of the rival company was none other than the bastard Jared had cheated with, Mark Pellegrino. The two companies had been competing with one another for years now. It had been civil when it had been Pellegrino’s father and Jensen’s but the moment Mark had taken over all civility went out the window.

Pellegrino was a dirty bastard that tried to expand his company through any means necessary, whether they were legal or not. There were even rumors that Pellegrino had lined himself with the local mafia to expand even further. Unfortunately, no matter how much evidence the police amassed on the bastard they couldn’t get any of the charges to stick. Pellegrino wanted to take over the shipping routes in the ten states Jensen had his company set up but was impeded by Jensen himself. Basically, Jensen was the reason Pellegrino hadn’t monopolized the routes and expand his empire.

Now, there were signs that Pellegrino’s company was having trouble. If rumors were to be believed, the Mafia had withdrawn every support they had given him and were threatening Pellegrino. Jensen didn’t care what was happening in the underground business, all he wanted was to see Pellegrino in the streets, penniless while he was in his spacious penthouse drinking soda in a champagne glass (he hadn’t touched alcohol since rehab) laughing his ass off.

“If you want the process to continue I’m going to need you to sign some papers.”

“If, what do you mean ‘if’? Of course, I want to continue. I want to see the bastard with _nothing_ and then I’m going to rub it in Jared’s pretty face.”

“Jensen, this isn’t healthy.”

“Neither is drinking to death and I almost did that. This way, at least, I’ll still be alive to see it.”

“Fine, whatever, continue with the plan you set out?”

“Yep, anonymous bidding until I owe 51% then, I want the thing dismantled from the inside. Hire workers that will fuck shit up in the workplace. I want the heads of the board to be on my side and to steer Pellegrino to the depths of Hades in the business world. Bastard doesn’t know I know about his problems and it’ll hit him in the balls when he finds out.”

Alona rolled her eyes, “Fine, you’re the boss.”

“Yes, I am.”

Alona left and Jensen was once again lost in his thoughts. It was only four in the afternoon but thanks to his new workaholic tendencies all of what needed to be done and things that didn’t need to be done until months from now have been taken care of. He couldn’t do much on the Pellegrino forefront as Alona was taking care of it. Jensen would love to have been the one doing it but he knew if Pellegrino even caught a whiff of Jensen’s hand in buying his company everything could be lost. He couldn’t go to a bar and drink lest he fall back to alcoholism to try to find all the answers in the bottom of a bottle so he did what he’d done since coming out of rehab.

Jensen packed up and went to the gym. Ever since kicking his habit he got a membership to a 24/7 gym. He had developed muscles he never knew he could and his stomach had hardened to a six pack. He put on his iPod, put it in its highest volume setting, and started pumping iron. After a while, he got into the rhythm of things and his mind once again wandered to Jared.

He hadn’t heard from his ex-husband since the divorce. Jensen didn’t even know where Jared was, what he was doing or how he was. He wondered if Jared had already chosen a new guy to plow him. Did he have a list already of how many men he had let in his bed? Jensen stopped lifting weights and his mind wandered to old questions.

Why? That was the main one. Why had Jared cheated, why did he have the need to throw away so many good years? Was Jensen not enough, did he stop loving Jensen and felt compelled to cheat? Even if he did fall out of love what would make Jared hate Jensen so much that he’d fall into the arms of his worst rival, at the human equivalent of garbage?  

Jensen got up and went to the treadmill; at least, he could run without having to worry about hurting himself while thinking. He didn’t even bother with music. He thought of what Jared reaction would be when he saw Pellegrino’s company going under. Jensen tried to imagine Jared’s pretty face. Would he care? Would he go looking for Pellegrino to warm his bed? Jensen felt anger at that prospect and wished he gone to the punching bag instead.

Maybe Jared wouldn’t even care. He hadn’t gone into Pellegrino’s arms once the divorce was final but disappeared from the state. Jensen had no idea of Jared’s whereabouts and he hadn’t cared; at least, not until now. Even if Jensen did bring Pellegrino down he knew it would be a hollow victory if he didn’t rub it in Jared’s face. He had told Alona earlier he was going to rub it in Jared’s face but he hadn’t been serious, now though…Why not? Jared deserved to know that he had left Jensen for a useless piece of shit that had nothing. He wanted Jared to beg him to take him back and then turn him down like the whore he is. Who knows, maybe Jared is still getting plowed by Pellegrino but they’re both keeping it from the public. Maybe that’s the reason Jared hadn’t asked for anything. He probably knew Pellegrino would still support him and wanted the public to paint Jensen as the villain in the story. No, Jensen wasn’t going to allow that.

Jensen smiled as another idea came to him. He would make Jared beg for him, give him one last fuck, use him and when Jared felt secured he had won another round, Jensen will kick him out of his bed like the whore he was. Or, he could also fuck Jared, throw a few hundred bills at him and have him dragged out from Jensen’s room naked. Jensen gave a laugh as more and more revenge scenes entered his mind. He couldn’t wait to put those to play.

 

A few months later, Jensen had crushed Pellegrino and the bastard had disappeared off the face of the Earth. Better yet, Jensen had hired a private detective and now knew where Jared was. Jensen was a little surprised Jared had gone back to his hometown. Still, he couldn’t wait to see Jared’s face when Jensen showed up. It was time for him to turn Jared’s life a living hell like he had done to his.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t owe anyone, they belong to themselves. I’m just using their names to write a purely fictional story.  
> Reading Warnings from Tags

At the moment Jensen was planning his revenge, Jared was making coffee as fast as he could in the café he was now working in. It was a weekday morning and people were coming as quickly as they were going. Jared was looking forward to the end of rush hour unaware of the plans Jensen had laid out for him. JD Morgan, the owner of the little café that had been kind enough to give him the job, was on the cash register. Years of practice had made him fast when it came to taking orders. Tom Welling was busy busing the tables and, later on, both he and Jared will be washing the dishes.

After the divorce, Jared had come back to his hometown of in San Antonio, Texas. He didn’t want to stay in LA where Jensen had his HQ. Plus, there was another person he was avoiding back there, too. He had come and stayed with his mother and boy did he get the worst news of his life. His mother hadn’t told him she had advanced stomach cancer and the doctors had given her three months to live. She had found two months before his official divorce but hadn’t told Jared because of what he was going through. She died a month and a half later. The house had been left to his older brother Jeff, his sister, Megan and him. Both his brother and sister already had their own homes and families and he didn’t want the house, so they sold it and split the profits between the three of them. He had found a cozy, if albeit a little run down, apartment really cheap and saved the rest as a little nest egg for whatever happened in the future. The apartment was kind of small but enough for him and his two dogs.

 He was glad when rush hour ended and went straight to doing the dishes. The sooner he got them done the sooner he could sit down. He wasn’t feeling too well. Yesterday he had gotten caught in the rain and now he knew he was catching a cold. He was about to go ask JD what else he could do when he almost ran into him.

“Oh, I’m sorry; I wasn’t watching where I was going.” JD frowned and put his hand on Jared’s forehead.

“Go home, Jared. You’re swaying on your feet and you have a fever. You need rest.”

“But, you and Tom need help…”

“Rush hour is over. I don’t want you falling over on me and it’s not healthy to have a sick person working around food. Rest, Jared. Tom and I will get it all of this done and don’t even think of coming back in the afternoon. Your cheeks are flushed and you need to recover. Call in sick tomorrow if you don’t feel better.”

Jared wanted to argue but he felt a wave of dizziness hit him and he couldn’t bring himself to. He gave a nod and went to go get his backpack and umbrella; unfortunately, it was still raining. He walked home as fast as he could, not wanting to be out more than he had to. The moment he reached home the dogs were over eager and almost knocked him down on his butt.

“Hey Sadie, hey Harley, I’m home early.” The dogs waved their tales harder and licked his face which made him give a small chuckle before he felt the pain in his throat. Ugh, he hated being sick. He quickly shed his work clothes and got into his comfortable, holey sweatpants and his favorite hoodie he always wore when he was sick or feeling depressed; he had been wearing that hoodie many times after the divorce. He made himself a cup of lemon tea with honey and ginger and sat on the sofa holding the steaming cup and his hands and relishing the warmth of it.

The small apartment felt…empty. Jared really missed having Jensen’s laughter in his life. His smile, the way his eyes lit up when he was happy. But Jared had fucked up and now that chapter of his life was over. He closed his eyes and wished his mind would stop playing what had happened the year leading to his divorce. He frowned. He shouldn’t have given into Pellegrino but he had been so scared for Jensen…

Jared must have dozed off because he woke up later. He frowned not knowing what had woken him up. He heard a knock on the door concluding that must’ve been it. He saw both Sadie and Harley wagging their tails happily. Maybe it was Tom, he certainly had shown up enough time on Jared’s doorstep for the dogs to be familiar with him. It didn’t help that he brought them treats. Tom was a nice guy and Jared knew he wanted to date Jared but he still felt too…fragile for dating. Not to mention that it wasn’t fair for Tom to go out with a guy that still loved his ex-husband.

The knocking on his door got more insistent and he got up as quickly as he could. That was a mistake; he was dizzy and almost vomited, which was weird as the only thing in his stomach was the tea had drunk. The door had now gotten to a pounding and it matched in time with a headache he suddenly had in his head. He walked up to the door trying to calm the dogs barking.

“Alright, Tom, I’m going, I’m going.”

He opened the door to a smirking face he knew so well. Green eyes were looking at him but they held no warmth which hadn’t always been the case.

“Tom? Well, seems you got over it quickly.”

“Jensen.” He almost fainted on the spot.   


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter, sorry for taking so long. Every last one of you has been awesome. Again sorry for the wait but here's the next chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: Don’t own any recognizable persons, they belong to themselves.  
> Enjoy.

Jared looked like shit. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were glazed and his nose was red. Jensen knew that meant Jared had a cold and a bad one at that. He didn’t care. Without being invited, he pushed through Jared to get into the apartment. It was small, not at all how Jensen had had Jared in the house.

“Pellegrino dumped you, is that why you’re living in this dump? Of course, considering what happened to him maybe _you_ dumped _him_.”

Jensen turned around and saw Jared grit his teeth but there was hurt in his eyes. Good.

“Maybe you should’ve stayed with me if you were that much of a gold digger. Of course, now you have Tom, was it? He rich too and does he know that you’re a lying whore?”

“What do you want, Jensen?”

Jensen sat on the couch; it was lumpy.

“Surprisingly enough, even though you cheated and lied to me, I still want you.”

Jared stared back at him, surprised. Jensen couldn’t help but smirk. Oh, revenge was going to be so sweet.

“W—why?” Jared stammered out.

Jensen shrugged, “maybe I’m a sucker for punishment, maybe I’m feeling nostalgic or maybe I just miss having you beneath me, screaming, moaning, and calling my name out.”

Jensen stood up and invaded Jared’s personal space, “Maybe I’m an idiot.”

Jared backed up until he hit the wall, Jensen smirked, loving Jared’s expression as Jensen invaded his space. Jensen put his hand on Jared’s cheek somehow surprised of how soft it still was. Jared pushed in a little, closing his eyes and then seemed to come to as he pushed Jensen away and went to the middle of the room.

“Why are you here, Jensen?”

“Nostalgia; and I miss you, Jay,” Jensen purposely used the nickname that Jensen had given Jared and willed his face to soften. Let Jared think Jensen was here to take him back; it would make it a hundred times sweeter when Jensen threw Jared to the curb. Jared's eyes dilated and Jensen saw a shiver go through Jared’s body and couldn’t help but give a smug smirk. It seemed he could still turn Jared into putty.

“Jen, I don’t think it would be…” Jared gulped as Jensen got closer to him, “…a good idea. Too much has happened…ah, that can make—ugh, things difficult—mmm,” Jensen had gotten closer and starting sucking Jared’s neck; Jensen had to hold Jared upright because his legs kind of gave out.

“Just let it happen, Jay,” Jensen went down and touched Jared’s crotch feeling giddy when he felt Jared’s semi-hard on. This would be easier than he thought. Jensen went in to kiss Jared when Jared pushed him away, hard. It would’ve probably sent him on his ass if it weren’t for the fact that Jensen had gotten stronger and Jared was sick.

“No, I don’t want to. Leave Jensen, now,” Jensen frowned. He didn’t think it would play out like this.

“C’mon, baby, for old time’s sake, we can satisfy each other and maybe talk. Maybe we can fix things between us. I wouldn’t mind taking care of you for sex.”

“No, get out, now.” Jensen’s frown deepened. By this time he thought he would be in Jared’s sweet ass, not being told to leave. They both stared at each other, neither one wanting to back down. Both their attentions were interrupted when a knock sounded on the door. Jensen broke his eye contact and Jared actually jumped a little. Jared seemed paralyzed and didn’t move. Soon a second knock was heard, this one louder and more insistent.

“Stay,” Jensen walked up to the door and saw a handsome, tall man with blue eyes and about two inches taller than him.

“You’re not Jay,” Jensen smirked though a part of him felt hurt that the man before him was using the nickname he had given Jared. He quickly squashed those feelings.

“No, I’m not. The question is, though, who are you?”

“Tom, what are you doing here?” Jared came up behind him and asked.

So this man was Tom, was he Jared’s current lover? If so, Jensen will love destroying that relationship.

“I brought you some chicken soup. I made it myself.” Jensen saw Jared’s sweet smile and it made him grind his teeth.

“Great, you brought him the soup, why don’t you leave?”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t catch your name.”

“Ackles, Jensen Ackles and you are?”

Tom looked at Jensen surprised before he threw a hurt look at Jared. Good, maybe just his presence will be enough to destroy their relationship.

“Tom Welling, I work with Jared.”

“Hmm, that’s nice; you work in advertisement, too?”

Tom looked taken aback, “No, Jared and I work in a café.”

Jensen snorted, “that’s cute…I guess.”

Jared decided to butt in then, “Tom thanks for the soup but I really don’t feel well. Jensen it was…a pleasure. I really just want to be alone now. Tom, can you tell Jeff I won’t go in tomorrow? I’ll call you later. Jensen, just, well, uh, I guess I’ll see you around.”

Jensen didn’t want to leave but he knew letting Jared soak in his juices a little wouldn’t do any harm.

“Of course, Jay, just think about what I said. I wouldn’t mind working our relationship out even if you are at fault.” He gave Jared’s cheek a swipe with his finger and walked away.

Jensen felt a sick satisfaction at Jared’s hurt expression and Tom’s envy and disbelief. He smirked at the man. Hopefully, this will nip anything those two had going on. At the very least it would cause Jared problems. He walked away smiling, this was going to be fun.

OoOoOoOo

 

Jared felt drained and let himself sag against the door after saying goodbye to Tom. He couldn’t believe that Jensen had shown up at his doorstep. He honestly thought he would never see him again, let alone have him show up and ask for sex. Really, what the fuck?

Jared didn’t know what to do. A part of him wanted to fall into Jensen’s arms and try to fix everything but another part; a larger part knew it wasn’t going to work like that. He had seen it, the way Jensen had talked, the way he sneered at him, the words he’d used and just his body language in general, Jensen had changed. There was something harder, darker, about him; and Jared was to blame. The boy he had met when they first started dating, the man he had spent the past ten years with, he was gone; all because of his stupidity.

He hadn’t kept up with Jensen’s life after the divorce. At first, it was because of depression but then it was out of fear. He didn’t want to see Jensen moving on and being with another man. Jared had avoided watching any T.V on the business or scandal channels. He avoided the news and only watched cartoons or reruns of old shows. He never searched Jensen online but now, with his ex-husband having shown up on his doorstep curiosity was getting the better of him.

Jared stayed seated by his door, legs drawn up to his chest, and cried. Suddenly every shitty thing that had happened to him came crashing down at once. The past two and a half years have been nothing but emptiness and numbness. He had wrapped himself in a safe, mostly emotionless cocoon so he wouldn’t have to deal with everything that had led up to his divorce and beyond.

Now, though, his tears came down. Every bad thing had finally taken his toll on him after seeing Jensen again. From what happened before his divorce, to when it was happening and everything that has happened afterwards. His emotions had decided to fall on him with the weight of the sky at that moment. Jared didn’t know how he would survive them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the people in my story, they belong to themselves
> 
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Sorry for how short it is but I hope you guys like it.

An hour later Jared got off the floor and opened up his laptop. He sat on his sofa and got the comforter around him; he was cold. He hesitated for minute or two but eventually he typed in ‘Jensen Ackles’ in the little search bar. A bunch of articles and photos were brought up. Jared clicked the first link he saw.

‘Jensen Ackles Completely Destroys Pellegrino Int.’

Jared did a double take. There in big, bold letters it said that Jensen destroyed Pellegrino’s company. Jared shivered. Just seeing that bastard’s name was enough to make him want to cower in fear, or run away, screaming. Jared took a few deep breaths and counted to ten. When he was calm enough he proceeded to read the article. What he read surprised him.

Jensen had become quite the unmovable force in the business world. He had not only bought Pellegrino’s business but had destroyed it utterly and irrevocably from the inside. When asked why he didn’t just merge the two companies he answered with “because I wanted nothing to do with that rat bastard. He deserved what he had coming and more.”

Jared closed the article and clicked another link.

‘Jensen Ackles is Admitted into Rehab for Alcoholism.’

 Jared paused; did he really want to read about Jensen’s time in rehab? He bit his lip before the curiosity got the better of him and he clicked on the link. The more Jared read the paler he got. He got to the last sentence and then closed the tab before closing his laptop and putting it on the coffee table.

This was all his fault. It was his fault that Jensen had become such a hard, cynical person. That he had fallen into drinking his problems away. Jared should’ve handled everything differently. He wished he could go back in time to stop everything from happening, he wished he could tell Jensen what really happened, he wished…If wishes were horses even beggars would be riders his momma would always say.

Jared stayed on the couch condemning himself and trying to come up with scenarios of how things could have gone differently. He stayed lost in his in thoughts and didn’t come back to until he heard the phone ring. Jared deliberated whether or not to let it ring when he decided to go. Jared was terrified as he picked up the phone. What if it was Jensen? He didn’t think he had it in him to talk to Jensen again.

“Hello,” he asked cautiously.

“Jared, honey, are you okay?”

Jared’s shoulder sagged with relief, “Genevieve, yeah everything’s fine, why do you ask?”

“Seriously, Jared, I ask because Tom just called me saying that your ex-husband had come to your home. What did Jensen want?”

Jared closed his eyes in defeat. Gen and he had been friends since grade school. She met Jensen and was actually one of his bridesmaids. She was the one who introduced her to JD and the reason he had the little job at the café. He didn’t want to go back to working in advertisement but needed some type of income. Tom was also a friend of her and she has been trying to set them both up. Of course, Tom would call her with what happened today.

“It’s fine, Gen, he just wanted to talk.”

“Mm-hmm, about what?”

“You know, this and that,” he said trying to avoid the question.

“Huh, Jared, I know you’re dodging the question so if you don’t tell me I’ll go over right now and get it out of.”

Jared sighed. He knew Gen would do well on that threat and if she did come over he would tell her everything.

“Gen, please, I can’t right now.”

Her voice soften, “what did he say, Jare?”

“That he wanted me in his bed for a fuck.”

He heard her sharp intake of breath and knew she was angry.

“I’m coming over right now.”

“No, you don’t have to—”

“I know but I will. Besides, I can hear your stuffed nose and I know you’re sick. I’ll be there in ten.”

The line went dead.

 

 

Exactly eight minutes later Jared heard a knock on his door. He wiped away the tears that were falling down his face and forced a smile on his face; it looked more like a grimace. He opened the door and as soon as Gen saw him her expression turned soft and understanding. It almost had him crying again. She said nothing and put her arms around Jared’s waist. Jared did start with the waterworks again.

She let go of him and looked up, “C’mon, you’re sick and can’t be out here in this chilly hallway.”

He nodded and let her herd him to the sofa where she put the comforter around him.

“Have you eaten?”

He nodded his head no, “Tom brought some soup earlier but I haven’t gotten around to it. You know, with everything that was happening it slipped my mind.”

Jared heard Gen in the kitchen and then heard the microwave turn on. A minute later she came out with the soup and put on the coffee table in front of Jared.

“Eat, then we talk some more.”

Jared didn’t feel like arguing, besides, doing saw with Gen would take more energy out of him and he’d end losing anyway. Once he took the first sip, though, he figured out how hungry he was and finished the soup in record time. Genevieve took the plate away and left in the sink before sitting on the sofa and bringing Jared’s head to her shoulder. Jared let it happen.

“So, how’re you feeling with what happened today?”

Jared shrugged what he could he say? He felt weak, scared, and sick all at once. Seeing Jensen again, finding out who he has become…it was too much for him. He wished he could change the past but he couldn’t so here he was stuck with the guilt at what he had done to Jensen.

“Jared,” Gen paused as if unsure what to say; that almost never happened, “don’t you think it’s time that Jensen knew the truth?”

Jared froze; _please don’t say it, please._ But of course, she continued, “maybe it’s time he knew Pellegrino raped you.

 

OoOoOoOo

Jensen was in the hotel room he was staying at plowing into a young man. Even as the boy, ‘cuz really he couldn’t be more than twenty, moaned and made sweet sounds of pleasure Jensen couldn’t help but fantasize of another body beneath him. He imagined that it was Jared’s body beneath him writhing and squirming. He imagined it was Jared moaning in pleasure and surrounding him with his heat.

Jensen felt the boy clench around him as he came and Jensen followed soon after. It barely felt like it took the edge out of him. They both stayed on the bed panting before the boy; he really should remember his name, got up and went to shower. A few minutes later he came out and tried to snuggle.

Jensen got up, “I’m going out, you can stay if you want but I really don’t want you here when I come back.”

The boy looked hurt but Jensen had explained to him that it was just to scratch and itch before he got him in his bed. Suddenly he got up, took his stuff and left, huffing in anger. Jensen shrugged. The boy leaving was better for him; Jensen didn’t have to go out while he waited for the boy to leave. Jensen went to bed but didn’t fall asleep soon. He was too busy imagining Jared’s face when he threw him out. He smiled. One way or another he was going to get Jared in his bed, fuck him and throw him out like the piece of garbage he was. Jensen just knew that would be the only way he’d be able to fully move on and start enjoying sex again with others. He went to sleep smiling.  

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own anybody here they belong to themselves. 
> 
> Trigger Warning: Non-graphic rape scene  
> Hope you guys like

Jared had woken up feeling worst. Gen had stayed overnight even while he insisted that he was fine. There was no stopping her when she had set her mind. Jared stayed in the bed not ready to face Gen or really life. He couldn’t help but let silent tears fall from his face. He had messed up, big time. It was his fault that Jensen had fallen to alcohol, it was his fault that Jensen was the way he was now. It was Jared’s fault that Jensen’s heart had broken and by the looks of it never been repaired. He almost wished Jensen had moved on and fallen in love with someone else. Jensen deserved it and Jared deserved to be miserable. There was a knock on his door.

“Jare, are you awake,” Jared debated on whether or not to answer. On the one hand, he wanted to be alone but on the other…It would be rude to ignore her. He sighed.

“Yeah, I’m awake,” his voice was hoarse and it hurt to even say that. For a moment, he didn’t think Gen had heard him but then she came in.

“Morning, Jared, how are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Aww, poor baby, here I brought you breakfast.”

“Not hungry.”

“Don’t care, you have to eat.”

“My throat hurts,” he really just wanted to burrow back into his blankets.

“Then stop arguing and eat,” Jared sighed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to win. He ate the oatmeal drank his orange juice and then took his meds. When he was done he let Gen take away the dishes and sat on the bed.

“I called JD earlier, told him you weren’t feeling better and wouldn’t go to work today,” Jared nodded and then laid back down. He wanted the sweet oblivion of sleep.

“Rest, Jare, I’ll man the ship,” Jared smiled his thanks and closed his eyes. Soon he was asleep.

 

_It wasn’t a dream, it was a memory; a nightmare of what had happened. Jared was home, alone. Jensen had to do a last minute business trip and Jared couldn’t go with him because he was on a deadline. He had finally finished the papers that needed to be done and had come up with the slogan for the new sport’s jacket commercial._

_Jared called Jensen and talked for an hour before saying goodbye. Jared got ready for bed and was just falling asleep when he felt two pairs of hands holding him. He tried to fight but the hands were stronger and soon he was tied to spread eagle to the bed posts._

_“That’s enough, boys, thanks for your help. You can go outside and wait, I’ll call when I need you.”_

_Jared looked up and struggled more when he saw who it was, Mark Pellegrino. Jensen’s rival. Why the fuck was he here and what did he want?_

_“I can hear your confusion from here, pretty boy. Don’t worry, I don’t want to hurt you…much.”_

_Jared had to stop from rolling his eyes, unfortunately, he couldn’t do the same for his mouth, “No, you’re just going to bore me to death with your clichéd villain speech.”_

_Pellegrino chuckled, “I can see why Ackles married you, have a lot of spunk in you. Well, today I’m going to get a taste of what he owns.”_

_“What the fuck are you talking about?”_

_Pellegrino said nothing but gave a smirk. Then, to Jared’s horror, he started taking his clothes off. Jared’s eyes grew wide with realization and his struggling became full blown panic._

_“No, no! You can’t!”_

_Jared tried kicking his would-be rapist but with his bound legs, he couldn’t move much. He struggled, even more, when his clothes starting getting removed._

_“Fuck, get off me, bastard!”_

_“Shh, relax,” and then he felt it, the worst pain of his life. He was being ripped in half. Jared could feel Pellegrino’s body on top of him, could feel the sweat falling off his body onto Jared’s. The puffs of his hot, disgusting breath close to his face. Soon, Pellegrino was moaning out his release and Jared broke down sobbing when he felt the hot liquid being forced into his body._

_Pellegrino stayed on top of a sobbing Jared for what felt like hours before pulling out. Jared sobbed even harder when he felt hot liquid escaping his body._

_“Well, isn’t that just a pretty sight,”Pellegrino chuckled out, “Now, this is how it’ll work for now on. You tell the police or anyone else I will kill Jensen. Bastard has been a thorn in my side for far too long anyway. Secondly, whenever I call you, you’d better be ready for me so I can fuck you, if not I won’t just kill Jensen, I’ll torture him, and rape you in front of his face before we kill him,” Jared sobbed hard, tears coming down his cheeks. He also felt a knot settling deep in his stomach afraid_ for _Jensen if he didn’t cooperate._

_“Don’t worry, I’ll come when he isn’t here, but you’ll be my pretty, pretty bitch…”_

Jared woke up abruptly and proceeded to vomit in the waste basket next to him. Jared stayed in that position for a while, dry heaving into the basket. It took him a while longer to calm down and stop the tears from flowing but he managed.

After a moment, he wondered why Gen hadn’t shown up in his room while he vomited. He hadn’t exactly been quiet and Gen had a tendency to mother hen when he was sick. He got up and waited for a minute for the dizziness to leave. He slowly made it out of his room and walked down the hall.

He heard voices, one of them male and got confused. Had Tom shown up to leave food or something? No that couldn’t be it, Gen sounded too angry for that to be Tom. Jared froze, there was one other person that it could be. Jared continued down the hall hoping he was wrong. When he got to the edge of it, he almost went running back to this room. Jensen was here.

 

Jensen had gone back to Jared’s apartment in the morning. He couldn’t get him out of his mind. The night before he had had dreams of being Jared’s warm body. Moaning, groaning and writhing around him. Jensen woke with a hard on that just couldn’t be tamed completely, even with a cold shower.

Jensen also knew Jared would be vulnerable after seeing him and being sick. Jensen smirked, he basically had it in the bag. He knocked on the door and waited to see Jared. He was surprised then when he saw Genevieve Cortese answering the door instead of Jared. Jensen actually felt his heart beat faster.

Gen had been Jared’s best friend since…forever. She had been the maid of honor at their wedding. They both had been good friends but he cut all ties with her after the divorce. A part of him just wanted to tuck tail and run, come back some other time when she wasn’t around. Gen was extremely protective of Jared and the fact that she’s here just proves that after everything that hasn’t changed.

“Ackles,” she sneered out, “what are you doing here? Leave now, I won’t let you hurt Jay.”

Jensen felt his hackles rise, “ _I_ hurt _him_? In case you haven’t heard he cheated on _me_ , he hurt _me_. If anything you should be on my side.”

“Yeah, right, that’ll happen. Not. Listen Jared doesn’t need this bullshit right now, so leave now.”

“No, no, not until I talk to him, face to face, _alone,_ ” he emphasized. He didn’t need Gen hounding him like a bulldog.

“Fuck off, Ackles, he’s been hurt enough without you adding to it,” Jensen stared at her in disbelief.

“Jared didn’t get hurt he did the hurting and damage. Not the other way around, now move, I want to talk to Jared.”

“Why, so you can use him like a whore and then kick him out your bed? So you can hurt him and get your _revenge_? No, I’m not going to let that happen!”

“He is a whore, excepting Pellegrino into _our_ bed,” he sneered.

He didn’t expect or see the smack to his face but he sure as hell felt it, “What the fuck?”

“You have no idea what Jared’s been through so don’t you dare talk bad about him!”

“What, why do you keep saying shit like that like if he’s been the injured party, he fucked me over and you’re defending him!”

“That’s because he’s been—”

“That’s enough, Gen,” came a voice so low that Jensen was surprised he could hear it over the screaming Gen had just been doing. Jensen felt like there was something else going on here that he didn’t know. For a second, he thought maybe he had been wrong. But then he saw Jared and his anger and bitterness came back tenfold.

Jared looked like shit, swaying where he was standing, cheeks flushed, and eyes bright with fever.

“Jensen, it’s good to see you again” Jared hesitated and it came out as a question. Jensen couldn’t help the sneer that appeared on his face before relaxing it. More flies with honey than vinegar and all that bullshit.

“I can see I came in a bad time, I’ll leave now.”

Jared nodded and just as he was going to turn to leave he saw Jared fall. It took everything in him not to go and help him up but he just left. He knew if helped now then he would be suckered in again and Jared didn’t deserve that type of mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, sorry for taking so long. Poor Jared, I do love making him suffer. Anyway hoped you liked. Until next time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own any of the characters; they are real people that own themselves. This is pure fiction.
> 
> Sorry for the long wait but here's the next chapter. I hope y'all like.

Jared fell just as Jensen left. He couldn’t keep standing; he was too dizzy. The stress of seeing Jensen again didn’t help one bit with his dizziness. Jared felt as Gen got a hold of his shoulders but she wasn’t strong or tall enough to stop his descent and he took her down with her.

“Jared, are you okay? That bastard, why did he have to show up again?”

“Stop it, Gen, it’s not his fault, it’s mine.”

Genevieve growled and then him helped stand. He swayed a little and if it wasn’t for Gen and the wall he leaning up against he knew he would’ve fallen flat on his face. They took small steps towards his room and he gratefully fell into his bed.

“Rest, Jared, I’ll be here, okay?”

Jared nodded, too tired to do much more. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep. He dreamt of Jensen’s harsh voice telling him he deserved what had happened to him

 

Jared woke again a few hours later and heard Gen talking with another male’s voice. Did Jensen come back?  He got off the bed and went to the living room where he saw his older brother. What was Jeff doing here?

“Damn it, why was Ackles even here? Jared has been through too much without having that jackass add to it.”

“I think Jensen wants revenge for the perceived thought that Jared has cheated on him. I’ve told Jared to tell him what really happened but he won’t.”

“That’s because he doesn’t need to know. What are you doing here Jeff?”

“Gen called me, said you were sick and Jensen was harassing you.”

“Did she now?” Jared frowned at Gen who had the decency to look ashamed.

“Yes, she did and it was a good thing she did so. Jared, I want you to pack your bags you’re staying with me for a few weeks.”

Jared gritted his teeth, he knew his older brother was worried and trying to help but Jared didn’t want to go with him, “No, Jeff, I have a job here and I need to take care of Harley and Sadie. I can’t just uproot my life.”

“I’m sure JD will understand and let you have your job back when you come back. You can take the dogs with you I don’t mind but I won’t let you stay here where Ackles can find you and keep putting stress on you and reminding you of what happened.”

Jared sighed, “Jeff, I’m fine, I’m a big boy I can take care of myself.”

Jeff looked unconvinced, “look, if Jensen keeps bothering me, I’ll go to your house, but I’m not uprooting my whole life just because you’re a little worried. Jensen would never truly hurt me, you know that.”

“I _knew_ that, as in past tense, he’s changed, Jared. He thinks you betrayed him and now he’s out for revenge and God knows what he has in mind for you.”

Gen suddenly piped up, “Don’t worry Jeff, I’ll take care of Jared while he’s sick and then check up on him every day. That way everyone can go on with their lives.”

Jared glared at her, “I don’t need a babysitter.”

Jeff sighed, “I know you can take care of yourself Jared, but after what happened I just want to keep you safe.”

Jared smiled, “I know you do, but I can’t just lock myself away. I have to take control of life if not Pellegrino wins. I can take care of Jensen, he won’t hurt me, I promise.”

Jeff sighed again, “I hope you’re right, Jared.”

 

That night Jared went to bed early. He had convinced both Gen and his brother that he’d be fine. They had left him with Gen promising to check up on him tomorrow. He took a quick shower and then crawled into bed with both the dogs on the bed “just this time.”

He was lonely, that’s why he had broken the “no dogs on the bed” rules. He missed Jensen. After seeing him two days in a row, no matter how angry he was at Jared, Jared couldn’t help but feel the loneliness that had been threatening to overwhelm him these past years crushing down on him like a building.

Jared hadn’t even known he was crying until one of the dogs whined at him, “it’s okay,” he said, mostly to combat the silence that was threatening to swallow him whole.

“Everything will be just fine,” he whispered to himself.

 

Jensen dreamt. He was inside of Jared, calling him names, and pounding away with all disregard to Jared’s comfort and pleasure.

“Oh, Jensen,” dream Jared said in a breathy voice, just like he always did when Jensen would fuck him hard and fast.

“Yeah, bitch, take it like the whore you are,” Jensen felt Jared clench around him and he came deep into the slut of his ex-husband. Once he felt himself come down from his high he turned to Jared and was just about to kick him out when he stopped.

Jared was standing with a blanket over his body looking like a broken little boy. There were tears coming down his eyes and blood soaking the sheets.

“What the hell happened, Jared,” Jensen asked a panic.

“Why’d you hurt me, Jensen?”

 

Jensen woke with a start. He was sweating and he was breathing way too rapidly. He laid in bed, calming down his breathing. It took him a while but soon Jensen was back to normal and he got out of bed with shaky legs. Okay, maybe he wasn’t fully back to normal.

Jensen went out to the balcony of his room and stared out into the night. Where had that dream come from? The first part had been everything he had been fantasising about but the last part? Was his subconscious trying to tell him to stop? Or did he still have feelings for Jared? Jensen did a double take. No, there’s no way in hell he could still love that…that cheating whore! He was wrong, just an errant thought.

 _Are you sure?_ His mind perversely added.

Jensen scowled. No, he would continue with his plans his inner thoughts be damned. He didn’t feel shit for Jared anymore and soon he would get what was coming for him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone, they are their own person. All mistakes are my own
> 
> Enjoy

Jared felt better the next day so he got ready to go to work. He was tired, though, the night before hadn’t brought much sleep between the nightmares and the crying. But Jared had to go to work if only for the sake of distracting himself from the loneliness he was feeling. Jared got ready, ignoring the whimpering dogs that were still on his bed, and then had breakfast. He couldn’t really eat much so he had a glass of OJ and a protein bar.

Jared then took the dogs out of his room, “Okay, guys, daddy is going to work so be good, okay?”

Jared laughed as the two mutts licked his face. He gave them one last goodbye rub and went to work. Jared wasn’t really paying attention as he walked to work, too preoccupied thinking about Jensen. He missed being with Jensen, in Jensen’s arms, lost in each other…Jared was so lost in thought he didn’t even notice he had gotten to work until he heard Tom.

“Jared, you’re better!”

Jared looked up and was surprised to see he was already at the café, “Oh, uh, hi, Tom, yeah I’m definitely better.”

“That’s good to hear, you should’ve called me I could’ve picked you up so you wouldn’t have walked.”

 “Nah, thanks for the offer but after being cooped up for the past few days I needed the fresh and to stretch my muscles.”

“Jared,” JD walked out from the back room, “You’re better. It’s good to see you, son.”

Jared smiled, “It’s good to see you, too. I’m better and I’m ready to work.”

JD smiled, “That’s great, it hasn’t been the same without you around. Rush hour is about to start so how about you man the cash register while Tom and I get the orders.”

Jared gave a smile and took his place behind the cash register. Not even ten minutes later the customers starting pouring in. Jared loved it that it was a busier morning than usual as it distracted him. Before he knew it two hours had passed and the café had calmed down some. By that point, he felt better and even had a smile on his lips.

“I’m gonna start with the dishes, okay?”

“Sure thing, Jay, I’ll the tables,” Jared smiled at Tom who gave an even brighter smile to Jared. Jared’s smile waned a little, he felt like a dick. He knew Tom had a huge crush on him and having Jared smiling at him probably wasn’t a good idea. Jared should really nip it while it was still just a bud.

_Later,_ he thought, _right now I have to do some dishes._

Jared lost himself while working and even started whistling. Just as he finished the dishes he heard the little bell on the door ring signaling a customer. He assumed that either Tom or JD would get it but soon heard the little bell on the counter. He frowned a little wondering where the others were but wiped his hands dry on the apron and then took it off and went to the cash register. Half way there he saw who was standing on the other side of the counter and froze.

“Jensen,” Jared licked his suddenly dried lips, “what are you doing here?”

“Oh you know, just looking for some good coffee but it seems there’s terrible service here as no one has even greeted me let alone taken my order.”

Jared gulped and walked slower than usual up to the counter, “How may I help you?”

Jensen gave a lewd smile, “Well, you can give a large coffee, you know how I like it. Oh, and a piece of cherry pie.”

“For here or to go,” _please say to go_ , Jared thought.

“I don’t know sweetheart, what do you think?”

Jared said nothing and put in the order. He turned his back to Jensen and tried to lose himself in making his coffee; it didn’t work.

“So this is where you work now? To think I wasted all that money so you can get a degree and end up working in a run-down café,” Jensen tsk-ed really loudly and Jared felt his temper flare. It was one thing to make fun of him but another to make fun of the little café that gave him a sense of purpose no matter how mundane it may seem.

“If you don’t like it you can leave, the door’s right behind you don’t let hit you on the way out.”

Jared turned to finish the coffee, “Really, Jared, your customer service skills have much to be desired, is that that how you talk to all the customers?”

“No, only pompous assholes who think everything is beneath them. Here’s your coffee, here’s your pie, now leave.”

Jared turned to go to the back but felt his hand get grabbed. It stopped him short. As soon as skin to skin contact was made Jared felt an electric jolt go through his hand and down to his stomach. His cock did an interested twitch and his skin got overheated. He got scared. If Jensen could still turn him into a puddle with just one touch…Jared was screwed.

“Let go of me Jensen,” he tried to sound angry but it mostly came out as timid, fuck-me-now tone. Jensen’s smirk turned into a full-blown grin.

“What was that I couldn’t quite understand.”

Jared pulled his hand and with more authority in his voice said, “Let…me…go, Jensen,” every other word was emphasised with a pull of his hand.

“What is going on here,” Tom’s voice came out of nowhere. He was closely followed by JD.

“Son, if Jared wants you to let go of him I suggest you do unless you want me calling the police.”

Jensen let go of Jared’s hand and put his up in a gesture of surrender, “I’m leaving, I just wanted to catch up with Jared here but he’s not in the mood,” Jensen turned his attention to Tom, “Timmy, nice to see you again. How’s life been treating you?”

Tom gritted his teeth, “It’s Tom.”

Jensen waved his hand dismissively, “Whatever, Jared,” he turned back to Jared and he felt like a deer caught in headlights, “It was nice talking to you again,” Jensen took something out of his pocket and put it face down on the counter, “Call me when you can.”

Jensen gave one last smirk towards him and walked out the door with his order in hand. The moment Jared saw him disappear out of the door Jared felt his legs becoming jelly and they almost gave out on him. To save himself from embarrassment he let his upper half slump on the counter instead.

 “Jared, who was that, are you okay?”

Without lifting his head up he said, “My ex-husband.

 

The rest of the day went quietly between the three of them. JD and Tom kept glancing at Jared solicitously. It should’ve irritated him especially since they would talk quietly amongst each other but really, he was too preoccupied with the thought of Jensen.

He was glad for the distraction of the afternoon rush hour as it helped him take his mind off of Jensen’s visit. Unfortunately, the rush hour didn’t last long enough and soon it was time to close. He tried to go as slowly as he could so that he didn’t have to go home quickly but there was only so much that had to be done.

Jared forlornly put on his jacket. He felt despair in the pit of his stomach just thinking of going home, alone, with no one else there but himself and the dogs. Jared felt like bawling. For a long time in his life, Jared had always had Jensen. Seeing him so much after the divorce had put into perspective of how _alone_ he was. He didn’t have many friends, he had basically secluded himself and talked to no one but Gen, Tom, and JD. He was just so…lonely.

Jared was just about to walk out the door when Tom called out, “Jared, why don’t I take you home tonight?”

Usually, Jared would’ve argued but today he just didn’t have the energy to do so. He nodded his head and followed Tom meekly towards his car. Tom opened the door to the passenger side and Jared got in without saying a word. He didn’t even notice that Tom had gotten in until he heard his voice.

“Jared, are you okay?”

It took Jared a moment to comprehend what Tom had asked him, “yeah, I’m fine.”

“Jared,” Tom hesitated, “let’s get you home.”

The short ride to his apartment was silent. Jared wasn’t speaking and it seemed like Tom was gearing up to say something huge to Jared. When Tom stopped Jared tried to get out quickly before Tom said whatever he wanted to. It didn’t work out.

“Jared wait,” Tom put his hand on Jared’s knee and he didn’t know what to do so he stayed on the seat.

Tom took a deep breath and looked straight at Jared’s eyes, “ Jared, I love you,” he rushed out. Jared just blinked at him.

“Jared, I’ve been in love with you see almost the same moment I saw you walk into that café. I saw you and you had on such a heartwarming, genuine smile even while your eyes screamed out in loneliness. I have seen how you try your hardest to make people smile and laugh even while you are sad. Jared, I love your smile, your eyes, I love everything about you and these past few days I have seen your smile diminish and your spirit becoming smaller. Ever since that—that _bastard_ has shown up you’ve been getting sadder and sadder.”

Tom took a lock of Jared’s hair and curled it behind his ear, “You deserve better, honey, someone who truly loves you and would never abandon you.”

Jared saw it coming, really he did. He just didn’t feel like stopping it, he saw as Tom put his hands on Jared’s face and drew him closer. Tom even stopped to make sure it was okay with Jared and he didn’t pull away. Maybe it was exactly what Jared needed. Maybe a kiss from Tom would make him forget about Jensen and let him move on with his life again.

When Tom pressed his lips gently but firmly on Jared’s, he wanted to feel something, anything. Really he did, but he felt…nothing. There was no spark, no electricity, no nothing. It was just a kiss. It was sweet and gentle but just a kiss. Tom pulled them apart and stared straight at Jared’s eyes, questioning.

Jared gave Tom an apologetic smile and put his hand on Tom’s cheek, “I’m sorry, Tom, really I am, but I just don’t love you. It wouldn’t be fair to give you false hopes and make you think there can be something between us because there just can’t.”

“But how do you know Jared, you haven’t even given us a try.”

“I’m sorry, but I still love Jensen.”

“I can make you forget about him, Jared, give us a try. I can make you so happy, I promise it.”

Jared gave him a wan smile and then kissed his cheek, “I’m sorry, Tom. You deserve to be with someone who can love you back. You deserve better than me.”

“Jared,” he didn’t stay to listen. Instead, he got out of the car and walked up to his apartment. When he got to his room he took off his clothes and put on a pair of sweats and his favorite hoodie. He took out the card that Jensen had given him earlier. It was a hotel’s business card and on it was Jensen’s room number. Jared crumbled it up and was about to throw away when he changed his mind. He just couldn’t throw it away.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this longer chapter makes up for the short one I did before. I'll try to update sooner. 
> 
> Thanks for reading


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone, they belong to themselves. All mistakes are my own and there will be many as I am writing this slower than I can think it.
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> Okay, so I know I said slow updates but I’m giving you guys another chapter (I’m pretty sure y’all are heartbroken over that). This chapter just wanted to be written and took a completely different direction than I first thought about. My fingers are itching and here’s the next chapter. Hope you like.

“What do you mean you’re quitting,” JD asked at the end of Jared’s shift.

It was a week since Jensen came to the little café and Jared had done a lot of thinking. Jensen wasn’t going to stop until he got what he wanted. He had always been like that which is why he makes such a great businessman, so Jared had decided to give Jensen what he wants; Jared.

Jared was going to give Jensen what he wanted one last time and then he would disappear off the face of the earth. Well, exactly, but he did find a couple that needed someone to take care of their little cottage in the middle of the Nebraskan wilderness.

It had everything he needed, running water, a land line, light, and even internet. He could buy a little car and make the hour and a half trip to the closest town for groceries and other supplies. The best part was that they would pay him for staying at the little cottage. He knew the dogs would love being in the great outdoors after being cooped up for so long in his little apartment. He did take them out for walks but this would be different. It would just be them, Jared, Mother Nature.

“You just can’t quit, Jared. Is it because of what I said? If that’s the case I take it all back, just stay Jare.”

Jared gave Tom a small smile, “No, it’s not because of you Tom, it’s because of me,” he turned to JD, “I know it’s extremely short notice and I appreciate you even giving me a chance to work here but I feel I have to take a break and sort out a few things on my own terms.”

JD frowned but then gave a kind smile, “It’s okay Jared, I loved having you work here and my doors are always open for you.”

“Thanks, JD,” Jared turned to Tom, “Tom, I’m sorry I can’t be what you want but, I know that someone as sweet and caring as you will find someone to love and love you back with no problem.”

“But,” Jared smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “You’ll be fine Tom, forget about me, trust me, I’m not worth it.”

“You are more than worth it Jared Padalecki and don’t let anyone, yourself included tell you otherwise, you hear me?”

Jared smiled at Tom once more and turned to JD, “I’m gonna miss you JD.”

He gave the older man a hug, “Me too kid, don’t be a stranger, you’re welcomed back anytime.”

Jared let go and smiled at the older man who had become something of a father figure to him. Jared was about to walk out of the door when he turned around one more time, “If you could do me a favor and not tell Gen until maybe later I would greatly appreciate it.”

He left after he got affirmations from both men. He didn’t hear when Tom said, “three hours from now is considered later, right?”

“Hm, yeah, he looked so sad. I’m worried about him.”

“Me too, JD, me too.”

OoOoOoOo

Jared finished packing the last of the kitchen utensils. He didn’t have much, just five boxes altogether and two of those were just his clothes. (And it’s not as if the boxes were even big, to begin with.) The furnisher had come with the apartment and even though he had stayed in the same place for a little over two years he had never really made the small apartment _his._ He saw no point in trying to make it a home. Without Jensen, it would never truly feel like home.

Jared put the last box on top of the other ones and started getting ready. He took a shower and then put on the clothes he had left out for tonight. It was his best pair of jeans that hugged him in all the right places and tight fitting dress shirt; he hated them on him. It made him feel too vulnerable, too easily accessible. Of course, with Jensen tonight that’s just what he needed to seem.

“Who knows, maybe I’ll enjoy myself. It _is_ Jensen after all and it’s been a while since _that_ last happened,” but Jared knew he was lying to himself.

Ever since the first time Pellegrino had raped him Jared had had a hard time getting intimate, even with Jensen. He could count on one hand how many times he and Jensen had made love after the first time with that bastard and Jared hadn’t even gotten hard let alone had an orgasm. In the end, he knew that his reason for not wanting sex with Jensen was just another black mark. Jensen probably thought Jared hadn’t wanted him anymore because of his perceived infidelity.

Jared didn’t blame Jensen for the way he was acting. He didn’t have the full story and in his eyes, Jared had betrayed him and he had. He let Pellegrino use him after the first time, gave his consent. Technically, it wasn’t rape, he had said yes.

“I am a whore. A useless, filthy whore. You’re even lucky Jensen wants to give you one last fuck.”

Jared didn’t even notice he started crying until the first tear fell on his hand, “huh, I’m crying, that’s a big surprise.”

 Jared let himself feel the sadness sweep over him and through him. When he was done with the self-pity party he walked out the door to meet up with Jensen.

 

Jensen had just gotten off a video chat with Alona to make sure everything in his company was fine when he heard a knock on his room door. He rolled his eyes thinking it was room service, “don’t need room service, go away!”

When the knocking became more insistent he got up and opened the door, “Didn’t you hear me say I don’t—” Jensen gave a smirk when he saw who it was, “Well, hello there Jared.”

It had been a week since he gave Jared the card with the name of the hotel he was staying at and the room number. Jensen had thought Jared would’ve caved sooner but he had been wrong about that. The only thing he hadn’t been wrong about; Jared crawling back to him. This would be sweet.

“Are you going to let me in or should I just leave?”

Jensen moved aside to let Jared walk in, an arrogant smile on his lips as he watched Jared enter his room. He couldn’t help but watch Jared’s ass that was clad in jeans that hugged it really nicely. Damn, Jared may be a cheating whore but he did have a nice pert ass.

“Fancy seeing you here, Jay.”

“I thought this is what you wanted, me in your room so you could fuck me.”

The way Jared spoke, his voice devoid of emotion, his eyes dead, should’ve tipped something off in Jensen’s brain. As it was, though, he was too busy celebrating his victory to notice anything out of the ordinary.

“I don’t think I’m the only one who wants this sweetheart,” he put his arms around Jared’s waist and cupped his firm ass, not noticing how Jared tensed, “after all, you’re here, too.”

Jensen let go of Jared not, smirking when he saw how hard Jared was breathing, not ever thinking that Jared was panicking and not feeling aroused. _Still got it,_ he thought.

Jensen walked away and pulled out a bottle of non-alcoholic, sparkling cider, “Want a drink or anything to eat?”

He was surprised when he felt Jared up in his space and then his lips on Jensen’s. They were hesitant but sweet. Jensen wasn’t having any of that. Everything that was going to happen, that is happening will be on his terms, not Jared’s. He pulled Jared’s head and felt as Jared gave a surprised squeak at the roughness. Jensen then devoured Jared’s mouth. He took control and at that same time made sure Jared knew he had none.

Jared had just wanted to get it over with. He had rocks tumbling around in his stomach and he didn’t think he would be able to stand any more of Jensen’s remarks or games. So he did the only thing he could think of, he kissed him.

It had been soft and he tried to make sure Jensen was okay with it not wanting to impose himself on anyone. The way Jensen had taken control, Jared didn’t think Jensen had minded at all. What did surprised Jared the most, though, was how _rough_ and unyielding Jensen was with this kiss. Sure, they hadn’t always been vanilla in the bedroom but Jensen had always, _always_ make sure Jared was taken care of. He had always been tender and made sure Jared was comfortable. This time around, he didn’t seem to care, he just wanted what he came for and he was going to take it.

It reminded him a little of Pell— _no,_ he thought, _this is Jensen,_ not _Pellegrino. Everything will be fine, you’ve always had fun with Jensen. No matter how rough he gets I won’t confuse him for Pellegrino._

The kiss was broken by Jensen. The kiss that had left him trembling and breathless, but not in a good way.

Jensen didn’t notice it, though, he was just too happy to finally have Jared were he wanted. In his room, breathless (in what Jensen thought) with want for Jensen.

“Ready to get to the main course, are we? Well, I won’t argue with that.”

Jensen started taking his clothes off without missing a heartbeat. Jared went a little slower, his shaky fingers making it harder for him to unbutton his shirt. He looked up surprised when he felt Jensen’s hands on his own.

“Let me help,” Jensen smirked, thinking that Jared’s shaky fingers were because of arousal. It never crossed Jensen’s mind that Jared was terrified with what was about to happen. Jared gulped, it was just sex, it was just Jensen. He could do this, he _would_ do this. Hopefully, after Jensen got what he wanted he could move on with his life. He could forget Jared and move on with his life.

Jared felt as Jensen took off Jared’s pants and boxer in one fell swoop. He frowned a little when he saw that Jared was soft even with the kissing they had done. Then he saw as Jared got to his knees and took Jensen’s length into his mouth without hesitation. All thoughts left his mind and he got lost in Jared’s warm mouth. He got a handful of Jared’s hair and pulled it, hard. His cock gave a spurt when he felt Jared choking around him. In the past, Jensen would’ve been careful with Jared but right now, he just wanted to feel that throat convulsing around him. When he felt he was about to cum he pushed Jared off of him. He felt a kind of sick satisfaction when he saw how flustered and debauched Jared looked. There was saliva on his lips and a bit of precum coating them as well.  

“Let’s take this the bed, what do you say, sweetie?”

Jensen watched as Jared stood up on shaky legs and walked towards the bed. Just as Jared was going to lie down Jensen pushed him face down and got on top of him. There’s no way in hell he was giving Jared the dignity of looking at Jensen’s face while he fucked him. He had lost that right when he had cheated on Jensen and now he was going to be fucked face down, like the whore he was. Besides, it’s the same position he had found Jared and Pellegrino in, why not treat a whore like he wanted to be treated?”

Jensen got lube and a condom from the little side table by the bed and put it on. He didn’t know where Jared had been and he’d rather not catch anything. He then opened the bottle of lube and put in two lubed fingers up Jared’s ass without so much as a warning.

He was pleasantly surprised that Jared had prepped himself before coming to Jensen, good, less work for him, “Seems like my little slut came prepared. Just couldn’t wait to have my cock up your ass, could you?”

Jensen felt around and it didn’t take long for him to find the little bundle of nerves that made Jared jump. Once he started playing with it Jensen heard Jared moan. He gave a smile, Jared was clenching around his fingers so hard that just thinking about putting his dick in Jared was making him hot and bothered.

Without any second thoughts, he took out his fingers and lined himself up with Jared’s hole. In one thrust, he entered Jared. Jensen heard a little mewl from Jared and having Jared’s tight heat around him almost had Jensen coming embarrassingly fast. Jensen stilled in Jared not wanting to cum yet. After all, this was his revenge, no point in spoiling it so soon.

When he felt he had more control of himself he started pistoning in and out of Jared as fast as his hips could. He grabbed a handful of Jared’s hair and pulled up his neck. When the long, white neck was exposed to him, Jensen couldn’t help but leave marks and bruises on it. Let Jared remember who had fucked him so savagely in the weeks to come. He then put his hand around Jared’s throat and squeezed a little. Not hard enough to impede Jared from breathing but hard enough for him to feel it.

Jensen heard Jared moan and mewl and squeeze his cock so hard it was almost painful to pull out at all, “Yeah, you little slut you like this, huh? You like being used like the whore you are. Maybe if I had treated you like this the first time ‘round you probably, ugh, wouldn’t…have… cheated on me.”

Jensen came deep into Jared and then fell on top of him. Jensen was over the moon, his body filled with endorphins. As he was coming down the high he felt a deep sense of satisfaction. He had finally gotten his revenge. He had fucked Jared one more time and now he was going to complete the last part of his plan. Kicking Jared out to the curb. The little slut probably thought he won and taken control of Jensen but it was the other way around.

Jensen got out of Jared and heard him whimper at the empty  feeling. He turned Jared around and was about to rub it in his face when he saw something that surprised him. Jared’s expression was full of terror and panic. Jensen noticed that Jared was soft but there was no cum coating his belly. Jared hadn’t cum, he hadn’t gotten hard and right now he looked as if he had seen a horrible tragedy.

“Jared?”

From the moment Jensen had pushed Jared faced down on the bed, Jared had felt terror. A terror he had only felt when Pellegrino used him. He had been stuck in a memory of one of those times as Jensen first lubed him up and then fucked him. The mewls and moans Jensen had thought had been from pleasure had been of terror. Every time Jared squeezed and milked Jensen had really been fear making his body tighten up. And Jensen hadn’t even noticed.

“What the fuck?”

Jensen had no idea what was going on, Jared wasn’t responding to him, his expression seemed to be stuck to one of pure fear and Jensen felt he was missing something, something big.

“Jay, look at me, Jay,” Jensen snapped his fingers in front of Jared’s face but still, no reaction.

Jensen frowned. He looked around until he found his clothes and put them on. He then took Jared clothes and was about to help Jared put them on when he suddenly snapped out of it.

“Don’t touch me!”

Jensen didn’t even notice Jared had pushed him until he had landed on his ass.

“What the hell, Jared? What the fuck is the matter with you?”

Jared said nothing, he frantically put on his clothes and was repeating over and over again, “have to go, have to go, he can’t find out, he can’t find out.”

“Find out what, Jay,” Jensen quickly figured out who _he_ was. Jared was talking about Jensen.

“Jay,” he started again in a more soft voice, “look at me. I can’t let you go like this you could get hurt.”

Jared ignored him and went to the door. Jensen went to stop him but when he did he saw that Genvieve was in front of his door poised to knock. Jared didn’t hesitate, he knocked Gen out of the way on her ass and he ran down the hall. Jensen helped Gen up and followed after Jared but it was too late, Jared had gotten on the elevator and had left the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a long one. I hope you guys liked it. This story is about to be finished but first there will be way more angst before there’s comfort. Anyway, thanks for the read.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own any of the characters; they belong to themselves
> 
> All mistakes are my own

Jared ran. He ran as fast as he could from Jensen’s room and took off for home. He didn’t stop until he was four blocks away from his apartment. He tried to catch his breath but he felt it was an impossible task. He could still feel invisible hands on his body, taunting voices of him being a whore and a slut. The voices weren’t just Pellegrino anymore either but Jensen’s was mixed in there as well.

_‘Useless slut, came to me just bend over,’_ Jared shook his head, trying to dispel Jensen’s voice, a voice that used to hold warmth and love and now only held contempt and anger.

_‘You deserve everything I did to you, whore,’_ came in Pellegrino’s voice, _‘you were practically asking for it.’_

“No, no, shut up!”

Jared straightened up and noticed he was in an alley, he started moving but just as he took his first step he suddenly vomited. The knots in his stomach had turned into a churning and now he was spewing out everything he had in it. Jared felt dizzy when he was finally finished dry-heaving.

He stood up straight again and three pairs of concern eyes. They seem to be college students out walking.

“Hey, are you okay, man?”

“Yeah,” Jared cleared his voice when he heard how hoarse it was,“yeah, I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

The guy looked at him doubtfully, “You sure, ‘cuz we can call an ambulance if you want.”

“No! No, I mean, my apartment is just a few blocks away, I can get there on my own.”

“Ok,” the guy still seemed to not believe him, “if you say so. C’mon guys.”

Jared walked at a fast pace. He wanted to get back home and curl up on his bed. Who knows, maybe he’ll disappear. He felt so much better when he saw his building and quickened his pace. He opened his door and turned around to lock it. As soon as he did he came face to face with a smirking Mark Pellegrino.

“Hello, whore, long time no fuck.”

Jared almost vomited again.

 

Jensen went back to his room where furious looking Gen was pacing the length of his room. The moment she saw him she asked, “Did you find him?”

“Yeah, I’m hiding him in my pocket. What do you think?”

She scrunched up her nose as if she had just smelled something foul, “Don’t be a dick. This is your fault you know. He was doing fine until you showed up and fucked up his life, asshole!”

“ _I_ fucked up _his_ life?! He cheated on _me_! Why are you always defending him? He’s the one he started this and I just came to end it!”

“Jared doesn’t deserve any of this bullshit you’ve brought to him; he was fine until you came here! Why couldn’t you just leave him alone he doesn’t deserve any of this bullshit?!”

“I didn’t deserve any of this bullshit. You know something; I’m glad I came back and ruined his life after what he did to me! That little whore deserved, especially considering that he came here and gave himself over to me like the slut he is!”

Genevieve  smacked him, hard, “How dare you, he doesn’t deserve any of this; he didn’t cheat on you, jackass, he was raped!”

The room went still, Gen’s eyes widened and almost popped from her eye sockets. She turned, most likely to run but Jensen didn’t let her. He caught her by the wrist and turned her around.

“What do you mean,” he asked almost in a whisper, “that he was raped?”

Gen gulped, “it’s not my story to tell. Besides, I already broke his promise that I wouldn’t say anything to you. If you want to know you ask him but I suggest we leave now. He’s hurt and he’s probably remembering what happened to him. That’s why he ran, I saw it on his face, the look of terror. We have to find him before he gets hurt.”

Jensen went into action and followed Gen. Even as he did so his mind was going around in circles. Jared was raped? That sounded so wrong, so, so… Jensen couldn’t even think of a word. But another thing came to his mind, something that made him feel even worse than the scum of the earth. He had hurt Jared, too.

Jensen may not have known that Jared was raped but he was no better than Pellegrino, going after him, forcing his hand to have sex with Jensen. Jensen hadn’t even noticed Jared’s reaction during that time. He had too busy with his revenge, with wanting payback. Payback that wasn’t even deserved. Jensen had helped destroy a part of Jared.

God, so much made sense now. When Jensen tried to touch Jared when they were still married Jared always pulled away, looking disgusted. Now he knew it wasn’t disgust that he saw, it was fear. Jensen had chalked it up that Jared didn’t want him anymore after Pellegrino but now he knew different. Jared hadn't fought for anything, he had packed up and left quietly and instead of finding out the truth, Jensen had kicked him out, left him penniless, and then hunted him down to destroy what little bit of peace and happiness Jared had found. Correction from the earlier statement, he was worse than Pellegrino.

Jensen waited for Gen to get into the car and pointed it towards Jared’s home. He had a lot to make up for.

“I’m sorry, Jare, I’ll try.”

 

Jared fell to the floor after the powerful slap Pellegrino had given him. The dogs growled but Jared managed to shush them.

“Get those mutts out of my sight before I stab them to death,” Jared got the two dogs and put them in his room, “Don’t worry guys, everything will be fine.”

Jared went back to the living room where a smirking Pellegrino was standing, “So, I heard my little whore went back to his scheming ex-husband. I can’t have that now, can I? Since Ackles seems to want you again and he destroyed me I’ll take it out of your ass and then send him a message. Maybe I’ll chop you into little pieces and deliver it in a trash bag to his front door.”

Jared’s breath started accelerating at the picture Pellegrino painted, his legs felt like jelly but somehow he managed to try to run to the door. Pellegrino stopped him before he could even reach it. Jared felt as the man that destroyed everything good in his life grab his hair and then smashed his head into the wall twice. It left Jared disoriented and confused.

“Maybe I’ll just take you with me and fuck you every day of your life. Maybe take a few pictures,” Pellegrino started taking Jared’s pants off and him being too confused and scared did nothing but whimper, “send them to Ackles and show him what he’s missing.”

Jared felt both pants and underwear being taken off leaving him naked from the waist down. He started to struggle when he heard Pellegrino’s zipper come off, it didn’t help at all except in making his rapist laugh.

“Oh, so cute, trying to run. But I have under good authority that you like taking a stronger man’s cock up your little boy cunt,” without warning Pellegrino thrust his whole dick up Jared’s ass. Even with the earlier fucking from Jensen, Jared was tight down there, not to mention dry.

He gave out a scream that was covered by Pellegrino’s dirty hand. He could do nothing but cry as Pellegrino once again violated him. Jared felt blood running down his thighs, everything on his lower half felt numb and all the pain seemed to have gathered in his ass. Jared just wanted it to end.

“Fuck, still…so ti—tight, you little, fuck, bitch,” what felt like an eternity later, Pellegrino finally came in Jared and fell on top of him.

He gave gross kisses to Jared’s neck and licked and bit, “Can’t wait to take you with me, it’ll be so much fun!”

Pellegrino was pulling out of him when someone screamed out, “What the fuck are you doing, get the fuck off of him!”

A livid Jensen was standing by the door.

 

Jensen found the door to Jared’s apartment opened and stepped in with Gen right behind him. What he found almost made him vomit and in less than a second he became angry.

“What the fuck are you doing, get the fuck off him!”

Jensen started towards  Pellegrino to tear him apart limb from limb when he abruptly stopped. Pellegrino had a knife to Jared’s side.

“Get up you stupid slut,” Jared whimpered as Pellegrino made him stand. Jensen felt sick when he saw the blood and semen falling down Jared’s thighs. Jared had tears coming down his eyes, blood seeping from a wound on his forehead, and looked so small and heartbroken. Jensen was going to _kill_ Pellegrino!”

“Let him go you son of a bitch or I’m going to tear your throat myself, with my teeth.”

Pellegrino had the nerve to laugh, “As if you have any rights to this little slut anymore,” he licked Jared’s neck and Jensen saw how more pronounced Jared’s trembling became.”

“Jay, sweetie,” Gen started, “try to calm down, okay, the police are on their way,” this she said to Pellegrino, “I suggest you let Jared go, now, unless if you want to be here when the cops get here.”

From a distance, there were the sounds of sirens, Pellegrino visibly became scared then his face contorted with anger, “If I can’t have him then no one can.”

Then Jensen’s nightmare came to life, Pellegrino stabbed Jared in the side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I hope y’all enjoy and yes, I am evil for leaving you guys on such a big cliffhanger
> 
> MWAHAHAHA


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t owe anything or anyone  
> I feel this isn’t my best work but I hope you guys enjoy

“NO!” Jensen screamed out in denial. He ran towards Jared just as Pellegrino had pushed him aside like garbage. Jensen didn’t care that Pellegrino was getting away; he just wanted to get to Jared. Jensen managed to get ahold of Jared right before he hit the floor. He helped soften Jared’s descent and made sure he didn’t end up falling on his stab wound.

“Jared, hey, honey don’t conk out on me now, hey, Jay,” Jensen screamed out desperately when he saw Jared’s eyes closed and not open. He felt a huge sense of relief when he saw a sliver of hazel.

“Hey, Jay, you can’t leave me now, I have to make up for being such a huge, stupid, jackass. You still have to punch me or yell at me for the way I treated you,” Jensen took the time to look at Jared’s wound and felt sick seeing the knife sticking out. Jensen knew better than to touch it, though, some long buried memory of somewhere or another as to not to take a knife out. The knife was the only thing keeping Jared from bleeding out.

“Hey, Jare, it’s not so bad, you’ll just fine,” Jensen looked towards where Gen was standing and was surprised to see an unconscious Pellegrino while Gen had a look of grim satisfaction.

“Remind me not to piss Gen off, huh Jay,” Jared looked up at Jensen.

“Jensen, not…not mad?”

“No,” Jensen could barely talk with the lump that had taken residence in his, “No, I’m not mad at you, I—I, God, Jay, the way I treated you,” Jensen was going to continue until he saw Jared’s confused face, “but that’s for later, right just concentrate on staying with me.”

“Jensen, the paramedics are here,” Jensen looked up and sure enough, there were three paramedics with a gurney. Jensen was a little reluctant to let Jared go but he knew that he needed the help. Jensen let them secure Jared on the gurney and was just about to follow them out when the police stopped him. He wanted to growl at them and them to let him go.

“I’m sorry sir, but we need to take your statement.”

“Fine, let’s get this over with,” Genevieve began first, Jensen watched as two cops took a semi-unconscious Pellegrino out of the apartment. Jensen wanted nothing more than to rip his head off clean from his body. Jensen gave his statement as quickly as possible and then asked the officer where Jared was taken to after getting the officer’s card.

“He’s at Mercy’s hospital, over by Elm St. You can tail me while I have the sirens on so you won’t have problems with speeding.”

“Thank you so much,” he turned to Gen, “you coming?”

She gave him a scowl, “Of course I am, idiot. Let’s go.”

They both drove in silence to the emergency room. Jensen found a parking space as fast as he could and practically ran towards the front desk.

“Hi, a man, Jared Padalecki, was brought in earlier after being stabbed. I was wondering if I can get any information about him.”

“Are you guys relatives?”

“Um, ah, well, I’m his ex-husband, but we’ve been working it out,” he added quickly as soon as he saw her open her mouth.

“And I’m his friend. I’ve called his brother and sister but they won’t be here for a couple of hours. Please, can you tell us something, anything.”

The nurse sighed, “the only thing I can say is that he was prepped for surgery. He’s still in the OR and won’t be out for a couple of hours. I’m sorry, but that is all I can say about the matter.”

 Jensen walked to the uncomfortable chairs and just fell on it. He brought his palms up to his face. This was his fault. Jared was hurt, and not just by Pellegrino but also by him. Why hadn’t he seen it? He had kept asking _why_ Jared cheated on him instead of trying to find the answers. When he found Jared he should’ve asked, not plotted revenge. He was worse than scum and deserved to burn in Hell.

Gen sat next to him, “You should probably leave, his brother and sister are on their way.”

“No, I’m not leaving him, I don’t care what they do to me. This is my fault and I have to find a way to fix it,” they stayed in silence for a second or two before he asked, “what about his mom? She’s not coming?”

Jensen found it strange that Mrs. Padalecki wasn’t on her way here. She always cared and worried for her children and Jared being stabbed would definitely have her running here.

Gen gave him a look that could only be described as pity and disbelief, “don’t you know?”

“Know what,” a boulder had settled in Jensen’s stomach, somehow, he knew he was going to get bad news, “She died of stomach cancer a little over a month after yours and Jared’s divorce became official. She’s been dead all this time.”

Jensen got up and paced. He felt sick. Jared and his mom had always been close to one another. They loved each other and Jared always talked to his mom every day. He always found time to call her and visit her. Now Jensen found out she was dead. Jared’s mother wasn’t around to help Jared. He had been alone. At least Jensen had had Misha and Alona but Jared had had…no one.

God, he was an ass. He had destroyed whatever little bit of peace Jared had found, accused him of stuff that hadn’t been his fault, stalked him, verbally abused him, and, finally, the douche cream on the douche top, had basically raped him.

“God, I’m a fucked up, horrible person.”

“You’re not horrible, just stupid and blind.”

Jensen snorted, that was a nice way of putting it.

“God, why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t you tell me when you saw me? So much could’ve been avoided if I just knew. If I had just asked. I should’ve known he would never cheat on me. If only…” Jensen trailed off. There was no point in asking why and imagining different paths. He had fucked up and he had to fix it.

“Gen, do you think,” he licked his lips, “do you think Jay would ever forgive me?”

Gen looked Jensen straight in the eyes. They stayed staring at each other for a minute, neither of them wanting to break contact, both them thinking about Jared. One full of regret, the other with anger for what had been to her gentle friend.

Gen wanted to say, ‘hell no, Jared _will_ never forgive, so just pack your shit and leave.’ She didn’t, though. She remembered all the times she’s seen Jared stare into space, eyes misty and longing. She’s seen how when Jared talks about Jensen, the rare times he did, there was still love and hope in his eyes. So yes, Jared will forgive Jensen but doesn’t mean she’ll make it easy for him.

“I don’t know, Jensen, you’ve hurt him, bad. You’ll have to talk to him. I’m hoping he doesn’t but knowing him, he most likely will. But,” she stood up, “I will tell you this, Ackles. If you do anything to hurt him, and I mean _anything_ , I don’t care if you accidently pull a hair off his head, I will hunt you down and destroy you, understood?”

Jensen looked her straight in the eyes, “I promise I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. I will beg, grovel, and spend the rest of my life on my knees if that is what Jared wants. I’ll do anything he asks me to and I’ll do it with a smile on my face.”

“And if he asks you to leave,” she asked softly. Jensen felt his heart stop and then break.

“If he asks me to leave, I’ll do it. Will it hurt like hell? Yes, but if that’s what he wants, that’s what I’ll do.”

She searched Jensen’s face and then seemed satisfied, “C’mon, might as well sit, who knows how long we’ll have to wait.”

Jensen nodded and sat one chair over from her. The whole time he waited Jensen kept bouncing his leg and condemning himself over and over. He didn’t deserve Jared’s forgiveness, maybe he should just leave. Disappear from Jared’s life and let him live it away from Jensen’s fucked up one.

Jared still had Tom. Who knows, they might even be something there between the two and Jensen had probably come up and fucked up for them. Tom seemed like a nice guy, could probably take care of Jared, make him happy. Happy; Jared deserved happiness in his life after everything he’s been through, he deserves peace and laughter…

Jensen was so lost in his thought that he didn’t notice when Jeff, Jared’s older brother showed up, “What the fuck are you doing here, Ackles?”

Jensen looked up to come face-to-face with a furious older brother, shit just hit the fan.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone, they belong to themselves

Jensen felt himself being picked up by his shirt and he let it happen. Jeff’s face was inches away from Jensen’s; he knew he should probably fight back but at the moment he felt he deserved what was coming to him and then some.

“Jeff, stop,” Meg’s voice rang out loud and clear, “Let him go; we’re in a hospital right now. We’re here for Jared, not to start a fist fight with _him_ ,” Jared’s younger sister’s voice was full of disdain for the word him. Jensen didn’t even try to pretend who she was talking about.

“Jeff, let him go, don’t you see what’s going on right now,” Jensen looked over Jeff’s shoulder and saw that there were two security guards walking straight up to them. Jeff saw them too and let Jensen go.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you take this outside,  this is a hospital, we can’t have fighting in here.”

“I understand, Sir,” Jeff looked at Jensen, “but I would  like to have him kicked out of here, I don’t want him near my brother.”

“I can’t do that if anything you’re the one who was complained about. When the patient wakes up and if he doesn’t want him here then we can kick him out. If you both have a problem then take it outside, away from patients and family members.”

Jeff nodded and walked down the hallway. Jensen looked at both Gen and Meg. Meg looked angry, she looked like she wanted to kick Jensen in the balls. Gen was looking at him with pity; for some reason that scared him more than the look Meg was giving him. Jensen followed after Jeff down the hallway.

Jensen kept his distance and followed Jeff out of the hospital, away from the parking spaces and across the street to a little park. It was way past one in the morning and there was no one around. Jeff stopped suddenly, turned around and punched Jensen in the face, hard. Jensen tasted blood in his mouth and was pretty sure he had a busted lip.

“I deserved that,” Jeff punched him again, this time, he got caught in his right eye. Yep, that was going to show tomorrow.

“Why are you here, Ackles? You have no right to be around my brother! Haven’t you’ve done enough?”

“Look okay, I get it you’re pissed off, you want to keep beating the shit out of me. I get it but, I can’t leave, not yet. Not until I at least apologize to Jared. It’s the least I can do and if he tells me he doesn’t want to see me anymore…Well, I’ll leave and never contact him again.

“You hurt him, Gen told me. You’ve been stalking him, harassing him, making his life a living hell, you…You basically _raped_ him and you think an apology will be enough you asshole?!”

“No, I don’t think it’ll be enough,” he yelled out, “but I have to do something, I have to—I have to make this right. You can beat the shit out of me, you could threaten to kill me, hell, you could try right now, but I at the very least owe him an apology.”

Jeff stepped up closer to Jensen and then pushed him, “The way you can truly apologize is by leaving. You’ve caused him enough pain. Have you wondered how, coincidentally, around the same moment you show up on Jared’s doorstep Pellegrino also did?”

Jensen did a double take. It was true, Pellegrino hadn’t bothered Jared all this time and all of a sudden he showed up? Jensen felt all his blood freeze in his veins. Had he brought Pellegrino to Jared’s doorsteps? Was it his fault that Jared had been found by that monster and raped again? Jensen felt sick to his stomach.

“If you won’t leave I want you as far away from me and my sister. Once Jared wakes up and he says he doesn’t want to see you I want you gone outta his life and ours forever, understood Ackles?”

Jensen nodded, there wasn’t much else he could do. He watched as Jeff walked away. Jensen couldn’t really move, he didn’t know what to think. Maybe it would be better if he left, let Jared have a fresh start without having to deal with Jensen. He deserved that much at least because God knows he is going to have enough to deal with after what happened today without having to see Jensen, the man who hurt him, raped him, every day.

Jensen found a bench and just dropped himself on it. He didn’t have the energy to actually sit down like a normal person. He let his head hang down, shame making it too heavy to lift. Jensen stayed in the same position, letting the cold night air nip at his exposed skin, condemning himself for what he’d done to Jared. He didn’t move for hours. The sun was just starting to show over the horizon when he felt the air stir around him. He looked up to see Gen sitting next to him.

“Jared’s out of surgery. He came out fine but they put him in ICU, to monitor him and make sure nothing goes wrong,” Jensen felt a tiny amount of the weight on his shoulders lifting.

“He still hasn’t woken up but both Meg and Jeff are staying in his room,” Jensen said nothing, letting the silence hang between them. What was there to say? He couldn’t defend himself, he didn’t want to. He was at fault here. Jensen had convinced himself to leave instead. Everyone was right. It was his fault that Jared was hurt; he most likely than not had brought Pellegrino to Jared.

Jared deserved a clean break. He had Gen, his siblings…Tom. He had more than enough support and he definitely didn’t need it from his fucked up ex-husband who fucked him over. Jensen was just about to get up to leave when a pair of keys were jingled in front of his face.

Jensen looked, confused, “It’s Jared’s apartment keys. The dogs need attending to and we can’t just leave them alone. You have nowhere to stay and I need to get home and get ready for work. I can’t take care of them. You know how Jared is when it comes to those mutts.”

“Yeah, he’s very protective,” he took the keys, still confused and looked up at Gen as she stood.

“Look, I’m not saying that you aren’t at fault because you are but, it’s not completely your fault. Maybe about twenty-five percent. I’m still mad at you and a part of me wants to chase you out of town with a pitchfork and torch but that’s not for me to decide, it’s Jared.”

“Besides, I had time to cool down and think about and, you’re also a victim here. Don’t get me wrong you were still a dick that terrorized and made Jay’s life hard but _if_ Jared forgives and brings you back into his life, I won’t stop him. Just, this time, treat him right. Maybe, also, be patient. After everything,…Well, it won’t be easy and if someone wants to be with him, they’ll have to commit and be patient.”

Jensen nodded, “If Jared  does forgive me and wants me back in his life I’ll be everything he needs and then some, I promise.”

“Okay, that’s all I ask for. Jeff and Meg are going to have to leave at around two. They have other things to do so if you want to visit Jared it’d be better if you came at around three or something,” Gen walked away and Jensen just stared at her until she disappeared from his view.

 

Jensen slowly opened the door to Jared’s apartment. He had called the officers and had asked if it was fine to come back. They had given the a-okay. As soon as he opened the door he was attacked by two dogs. They licked his face and then got down. They were sniffing around his feet and out the hall and then looking at him expectedly, whining.

“Hey guys, bet you’re looking for Jared. Well, don’t worry, he’ll be back he’s just hurt and needs to stay at the hospital for a while,” he crouched down and scratched behind both dog’s ears, “guess you’ll just have to put up with me for a while.”

Jensen went into the kitchen to look for the dog’s food. Once he found it he gave some to the dogs and started really looking at Jared’s living space. It looked…Empty. Like one of those model rooms that are taken pictures of to put on brochures. It didn’t look like anyone had lived here.

Jensen went into Jared’s room and found five small boxes. He inspected one and it read _clothes: pants, jeans, sweats_. The rest of the boxes were more of Jared’s clothes and kitchen supplies. Jared had been planning to leave. Jensen felt a wave of sadness hit him. All of Jared’s belongings had fit into five small boxes. That was just sad.

When he and Jared had been living together Jared always found little knick-knacks to put in the house, something he had gotten from his mother. When they first got the house Jared had gone to every garage sale for a month looking for little figurines and weird looking ‘statues’ to put in the house. Jensen had jokingly called him Mr. Hoarder but always went along with it. Jared seemed to have a knack for finding the right things in the house to make it more theirs. After the divorce, Jensen had drunkenly broken every little knick-knack Jared had painstakingly, lovingly put up. All but one…

Now, though, there was nothing. No personal Jared touch, no paintings, nothing. It was all basic. A sofa, a TV, a chair, a little coffee table and the bed in the room. He didn’t even have a dining table.  Jensen felt his body hit the sofa hard; the lumpy sofa that had springs digging into Jensen’s butt. It was all his fault. He should’ve known something was wrong but he had been blind and stupid. Jared was loyal to a fault but Jensen had decided to ignore everything he knew of Jared and decided to blame him for all of his misery. Meanwhile, Jared was dealing with something worse. Jensen let his face hit his palm, “Fuck!”

 

At three thirty, Jensen was entering through the hospital’s door, a stuffed dog in one hand and a bouquet of red, yellow, and orange marigolds in his other hands. Jared loved marigolds. After asking for Jared’s room number Jensen felt his legs become lead the closer he got to his destination.

What if Jared was still asleep and Jensen didn’t have the chance to talk to him? What if he wasn’t? What if the moment he saw Jensen Jared would kick him out? What if…?

Jensen had finally reached Jared’s room. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. He opened the door slowly and peeked his head inside. He came to contact with a pair of open, hazel eyes.

 

Jared was bored and in pain. He knew he wasn’t freaking out completely over what happened because of the meds still being pumped into his system. The moment that stopped, though, he knew he was going to go batshit crazy. At the moment, he just wanted for something to happen.

As if right on cue the door to his room was being opened slowly and a pair of beautiful, intense green eyes were looking at him. Eyes that held pain and sorrow. That wasn’t right, those eyes should never hold that. They should only ever hold laughter, and love, happiness.

“Jen,” Jared couldn’t help but give a small smile. He knew that later on there would be problems. For instance letting himself get fucked by Pellegrino while they were married but letting it happen again after having sex with Jensen, but at the moment he didn’t care. He knew that while he laid in a hospital bed Jensen wouldn’t yell at him and call him stupid, whore…slut.

“Hey, Jay, you’re up. I brought you a stuffed dog, just until you can see your real live ones. Don’t worry I already fed them and took them for a walk,” Jared smiled, he had been worried about them, “and I brought you these flowers.”

Jared smiled wider, he loved marigolds! They always brightened a room up with their warm, bright colors, “you remembered I liked them.”

“I remembered everything about you, Jay,” Jared looked up at Jensen’s soft, warm voice. His eyes held so much warmth and, though he was probably imagining being high off his ass, love. No that couldn’t be right.

There was silence in the room for a moment and then Jensen broke it, “Jay, I have so much to apologize for. The way I treated, you…I—I  fucked up big time.”

Jared was confused, “There’s nothing to forgive you for Jensen,” Jared saw Jensen’s face break into a look of devastation before going completely blank.

“Oh, okay, I’ll just be on my way,” he turned around and Jared panicked.

“No, wait,” Jensen turned back around, “I can’t forgive because there’s nothing that you have to apologize for.”

Jensen looked taken aback and then he broke down crying. Jared didn’t know what he did wrong.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own any recognizable people; they belong to themselves
> 
> I'm sorry, I have found a job and started school so I haven't had time to write. I feel this is a little lacking and not my usual writings but hopefully you guys will like it.

“I can’t forgive because there’s nothing that you have to apologize for,” the moment those words were spoken Jensen felt a deep cut in his heart. God, how could Jared say that, and with so much conviction, too? Jensen was at fault here and Jared was most likely blaming himself. He couldn’t help the tears and heartbreaking sobs that escaped a second later.

“Jensen, did I do something wrong,” Jared asked, worriedly.

“God, how can you say that? You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the one—,” Jensen didn’t know what to say, well if he was being honest, he still didn’t want to say his sins out loud, so he did the only thing he could think of. He went up to Jared’s side and picked up his left hand, the one without the IV, and kissed it.

Jared looked up at Jensen, confused. Jensen got on his knees, “Jared Padalecki I’m asking for your forgiveness, I know you don’t blame me for anything, and that’s because you’re such a kind person, but I have taken advantage of it. God, what I did…If you tell me to leave right now and that you never want to see me again, I’ll understand Jay.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave.”

“Why, ” he asked because Jensen really needed to know, “Jared, I basically r—raped you, I’m no better than Pellegrino.”

“No, don’t say that you are a _million_ times better than that bastard! Please don’t think of yourself that way.”

Jensen stood up and kissed Jared on the forehead, just a little peck, “You’re far too good and forgiving, Jay.”

Jared gave a weak smile, “It’s not your fault,” he slurred, “You didn’t have the full story.”

Jensen watched as Jared tried to stay awake but the conversation had taken a toll on him. Jensen smiled softly and kissed him on top of his head.

“Sleep, Jay, I’ll be back tomorrow, okay.”

Jared seemed to wake up a little, “Don’t go, please?”

“I have to Jay, your family doesn’t want to see me and I have a feeling they’ll show up soon, I don’t think it’d be good for your health if you see us arguing.”

“I don’t care,” he said, “I wanna you ta’ st’y.”

Jensen laughed, “You can barely stay awake and you won’t miss me while you’re sleeping.”

Jared gave him his best puppy eye look and Jensen found himself caving, “how about I stay until you fall asleep, okay?”

Jared nodded. Five minutes later Jared was still fighting off sleep, “Jay, you need your rest. You’ve been stabbed and—well, y’know.”

“You mean raped.”

Jensen gulped, “Yeah, that; rest, honey.”

“What if you’re not here when I wake up?”

“I’ll back tomorrow, promise. Now how about I call in a nurse so they can give you the good stuff and you can sleep.”

Jared reluctantly nodded yes. Jensen smiled and pushed the call button. A few seconds later an older nurse with a motherly expression came in the room. She smiled a little when she saw Jared’s eyes drooping.

“Well, seems someone is fighting sleep. How about you say your goodbyes I’ll help you with fall asleep, yeah?”

Jared didn’t have time to say anything because the nurse immediately had a syringe and plunged it in Jared’s IV.

“Sleep well, Jay,” Jensen gave Jared one last kiss on his forehead and with a heavy heart walked out of the room.

 

Just as Jensen was leaving the hospital he saw Meg, Jared’s younger sister walking in. They both froze when they caught each other’s eyes and she immediately twisted her face into an angry scowl.

“I swear, Ackles if you’ve done something to him I will tear you a new one.”

“I didn’t, we just talked. He didn’t want me to leave until he fell asleep so I stayed a while longer.”

“Humph, let me guess, you gave a pathetic apology and because Jared is so kindhearted to everyone he forgave you.”

Jensen scratched the back of his neck, uncomfortable, “Uh, yeah basically.”

“Hmm,” her glare was making Jensen wish he could disappear off the face of the Earth, “Listen, Ackles, I don’t hate you, Jared still loves you, and Jeff, well, he’ll have to get over it. Just because I don’t hate you doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off for what you recently did to Jared. I understand you being mad, and I kept begging Jared to tell you the truth after every time I found him crying, so I don’t blame you for that.”

“Jared isn’t to blame either,” Jensen felt like saying.

Meg nodded, “No he isn’t, we all know how deserves the blame. That being said, when you showed up again you should’ve talked to him not immediately start pointing fingers and then having sex with him.”

They both stayed silent for a stretch of time, standing there in the middle of the hallway. Eventually, Meg broke the silence.

“I’m not going to stop you if this is what Jared really wants but I am warning you now, don’t you _dare_ hurt him.”

Jensen gulped at her expression, she didn’t have to say ‘or else,’ Jensen knew with just the glare she was sending his way that he didn’t want to know what she’ll do.

“I promise, I won’t hurt him,” Meg seemed satisfied and gave him a nod. She started walking away when she turned around, “I suggest you leave as soon as possible, Jeff is on his way.”

Jensen didn’t have to be told twice.

 

Jensen entered Jared’s apartment after taking the dogs out for their afternoon walk. Both mutts immediately went to their food bowl, being to be fed, “Alright, alright, you two eating machines.”

He fed the dogs and went to sit on the couch. Even with the lights on the apartment seemed to cast a shadow over itself. Jensen didn’t think about it. He took out his cellphone and called Alona instead.

The first ring hadn’t finished when Alona picked up, “Jensen, finally, what’s going on over there, you haven’t called me in two days.”

Had it only been two days?

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve been…busy,” he finished off lamely.

“Jensen, what’s going on over there? I know you’ve made contact with Jared, did you decide to forgo your ridiculous plans for revenge?”

Jensen broke down sobbing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: don’t own anyone here, they belong to themselves.
> 
> All mistakes are my own

Jared woke up to find his sister sitting beside him; his older brother was at the foot of his bed reading his medical chart. It’s been a week since Jared saw Jensen and at first, he was disappointed and scared the Jensen decided Jared wasn’t worth the trouble but then Gen explained it to him. Jensen was giving him his space. At first, Jared didn’t like it but now, a week later, he was grateful to Jensen.

Jared hadn’t known but he did need the time apart to think. He needed time to think about his future, his life, his…relationship with Jensen. Jensen. The man he loved, the man he hurt, the man that hurt him back. Jared had meant it when he said that it wasn’t Jensen fault. Jared had lied to him, cheated on him and then left him with no explanation but now that Jensen was away he had a clearer head. He didn’t think a relationship between him and Jensen would work out. At least, not yet anyway. Both of them were carrying too much guilt, they both needed to find their way through their own feelings. It would be hard to do so if they had to walk on eggshells with each other.

Jared stared at the marigolds Jensen had brought him; they were starting to wilt. Jared stared at them, lost in thought. So he was surprised when he heard his older brother snort. Jared looked up at him, questioning.

He looked angry, “Why do you have those things still? They’re dying anyway; I say it’s time to throw them away.”

“No, Jensen bought them for me and I like them.”

Jeff’s face became even darker at the mention of Jensen’s name and Jared was honestly afraid of his older brother.

“That shit hasn’t come and seen you for a week and he claims he still loves you and wants forgiveness. He should be here on his knees twenty-four/seven asking for it.”

“I forgave him already, Jeff, stop bringing it up. Besides, he’s just giving me space. Something you haven’t done. I can take care of myself I don’t need you staying here the whole day bitching about Jensen and how I should just move in with you.”

“You think I’d leave you alone now? After everything that’s happened? You should’ve listened to me the first time when I told you to move in. All of this could’ve been avoided if you’d’ve come with me. Maybe then you wouldn’t have been raped twice!”

“Jeff,” Meg called out, pissed, “shut the fuck up or get out! Jared’s been through enough without his family ganging up on him!”

Jared sniffed, trying to hold back tears, “It’s okay, Meg, it’s true anyway.”

“No, it isn’t! I’m tired of people blaming you for something you had no control of, including yourself! And you,” she turned a pointed a finger at Jeff, “You keep saying how you don’t want Jensen around because he hurt Jared well, first off, it’s not your call to make. Jared is a full grown man who can take care of himself. What happened to him wasn’t his fault and out of his hands. Now stop complaining and hovering around him because unlike you, Jensen has been considerate enough to give Jared space so he can think.”

“And Jensen,” Jensen had just opened the door to Jared’s room with a new bouquet of marigolds for Jared and stopped dead in his track when he came face-to-face with an angry looking Meg, “Next time you want to give Jared space call him or come in to say it instead of having other people bring the message. C’mon Jeff, we’re giving them some _space_ and if I hear any grumbling from you I’m clocking your lights out.”

Meg gave Jensen the ‘I’m watching you’ sign and walked out the room with a submissive Jeff. It would’ve been hilarious that a tall man like Jeff was following his younger, shorter sister if it weren’t for the fact that Meg scared the living daylights out of Jensen. The door closed silently behind him and Jensen turned to look  at Jared.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing,” Jared tried to wipe away stray tears, hoping Jensen wouldn’t notice.

“What’s wrong, Jay?”

“Nothing,” he repeated, “You brought me more flowers?”

“Uh yeah,” Jensen allowed Jared to change the subject, “I figured that the ones I bought earlier this week were starting to wilt or dead already.”

Jensen went to the vase and took out the older flowers and put in the new ones. He threw them in the trash and then turned to Jared. He seemed to be better than the last time he saw him. His cheeks had color to them, He didn’t have any tubes stuck in the hi arm and his eyes were bright and clear.

“How you feeling, Jay?”

“Better, the doctors say I can leave in four days if I promise to take it easy.”

“That’s awesome, Jay!”

“Yeah,” Jared licked his lips; Jensen felt bad for feeling his dick twitch while Jared laid in bed, recovering.

“If I ask you something will you answer truthfully?”

“Of course, Jared,” he answered with a deep conviction in his voice.

“What happened to Pellegrino, my brother and sister won’t tell me,” he whispered.

Jensen’s throat closed up, “He’s in jail, Jay, you don’t have to worry about him.”

Jensen saw Jared relax a bit. How could Jeff and Meg have kept this from him? Who know how worried Jared was thinking Pellegrino would show up any minute to kill him.

“He’s going to be in jail for a long time, Jay.”

Jared snorted, “Yeah until his mafia buddies get him out.”

Jensen blinked, “Jared, the mafia has been cutting ties with Pellegrino. He has absolutely no backup. You didn’t know that?”

Jared started laughing. He didn’t stop and it was worrying Jensen. The machine that was measuring his heartbeat was going crazy. Just as Jensen pushed the call button Jared’s laughter turned into tears.

“Jay, what’s wrong, talk to me,” Jensen wanted to know what was happening. Soon Jeff, Meghan, and a nurse entered the room.

“What the hell is going on here,” Jeff asked.

“I don’t know I told him Pellegrino was locked and no longer had any help in the mafia and he started laughing. Then before you came he started,” Jensen waved his hands between them and Jared.

“We’ll have to give him a relaxant, if he keeps laughing or crying like this he might hurt his himself and reopen his stitches,” the nurse plunged the needle into Jared’s IV and a minute later Jared had stopped crying and the tension had left his body completely.

“Jeff, Meg, can talk to Jensen alone, please,” Jared had asked a question but it sounded like it was a demand. Both of his siblings nodded and left the room with the nurse trailing behind them.

“What’s wrong, Jay?”

Jared squirmed a little and then took a deep breath, “I want to talk about our future.”

Jensen felt his heart beat speed up, _this is it,_ he thought.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now, Jared.”

“No, we do,” Jared took a deep breath again, “I really want a future for the two of us. I want to be with you again but, I don’t think we should just jump into it. A lot has happened since the divorce, heh, since _before_ the divorce and I feel both of us need our space. Especially you, in case you,” Jensen saw Jared’s throat working up and down, “especially if you change your mind.”

“I won’t, Jay, I promise.”

“You say that now because I’m lying on a hospital bed.”

Jensen didn’t speak, he would just have to show Jared that he was here for the long haul, no matter how long haul may take.

“By the way, a lady called earlier today. Something about still wanting the cabin.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, that. Did she leave a message?”

“Uh, I told her you’d call her in a few days as you’ve been in an accident. She said she understood and would wait. Jared, what is all that about?”

“I’ll,” yawn, “I’ll tell you later, right now…I’m tired.”

Jensen wanted to know, he felt like he was going to loose Jared one way or another but also knew Jared needed his rest. He kissed Jared on the forehead and was about to leave when Jared spoke.

“Come back tomorrow? I’ll explain about the cabin. I’m not planning on staying gone for so long this time around but I do think I need time to…”

Jared dosed off before he could finish his sentence. Jensen left the room with a bit of apprehension growing in his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I feel like people are starting to get bored with this story and maybe I should finish it soon. Sorry if this chapter isn’t up to par with the other ones but hopefully everything will work out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own any recognizable characters, they belong to themselves  
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Sorry for taking so long, I now work full time five days a week and still go to school. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Five days later Jared slowly put on his clothes. Jensen was there with his arms out in case Jared got into trouble and needed help; he didn’t. Jensen watched as Jared fell back on the bed, tired and winded with just changing. Jensen wanted to tell Jared to stay at the hospital at least a week longer but he knew Jared didn’t want to. Once Jared made up his mind he was hardly ever swayed.

Jensen frowned. The day after Jared’s little panic attack Jensen showed up again and Jared had explained a few things. Like the fact that as soon as he could he was going to hole himself in a cabin the middle of the wilderness in Nebraska. Jensen didn’t like it. Jared had just been stabbed, put through the emotional wringer, and probably in need of a good therapist. What he didn’t need is to go be alone by himself where the nearest town was like two hours in a car. He didn’t even have a car. Jensen frowned. _Note to self, get Jared a car to take with him._

Though Jensen didn’t like it, he didn’t say anything against it. Both his brother and sister, and Gen had been upset when they heard of his plan and have been trying to get him to stay through bribes, threats, and pleadings. Jensen had said nothing through all of it. He hadn’t said anything because, even though it hurt him, he understood. Jared needed time apart from everyone. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. Jensen knew the feeling. In his mind, he didn’t see Jared isolating himself in the middle of nowhere any different than when he had locked himself in their house and started drinking himself to death. At least Jared wasn’t doing anything bad for his health.

“Jensen, I can hear you thinking, stop it.”

Jensen walked up to Jared and kissed his forehead, “Sorry, love, just worrying a bit I guess,” silence reigned for a moment, “How are you feeling?”

“Good, a little sore, but good.”

Jensen stroked Jared’s hair, “that’s good, baby, but maybe—you should” Jared opened one of his eyes and looked straight at Jensen, “maybe you should stay awhile longer,” he rushed out.

Jared sighed and tried to sit up, Jensen helped him so he wouldn’t have to do much work and he didn’t take his hand off of Jared’s back.

“Jensen, I know you’re worried but I’m fine. I won’t go to the cottage until after the doctor says I am completely out of the woods. I don’t have to stay here, just get regular check ups… Even if I still had to stay, I just can’t,” he turned his sad eyes to Jensen, “please understand.”

Jensen nodded. He knew what Jared meant. When Jensen had been in rehab he felt his decisions and will had been taken away from him. It was for his own good but as soon as he could he got out. For Jared who had everything almost took away from him even his life almost, being stuck in a hospital, scrutinized by everyone, it had to be hell.

“I understand, Jare. Really I do,” he kissed Jared’s forehead once more.

“So, are you ready to blow this joint?”

For the first time since he could remember, Jared gave a huge, genuine smile that lighted his whole face. Jensen couldn’t help but respond with one of his own.

 

It took a while to get Jared out of the hospital, to his home, and then up the stairs of the apartment building but it happened. By the time they arrived Jared was sweaty, panting, and tired. Jensen took him straight to his room and laid Jared down. Both dogs followed anxiously behind them and were whining for Jared’s attention. Both dogs got on the bed and Jensen was about to kick them off when Jared nodded no.

“Hey guys, you missed me,” it was answered by two long tongues licking Jared’s face, “Okay, okay, guy,” he laughed, “I get you missed me. Were you good for daddy Jensen?”

Both dogs barked twice. Jensen couldn’t help but smile, “They were good, I took them out for walks and made sure they got fed, they are well behaved.”

Jared smiled, “Good boy, good girl.”

Both dogs tails were wagging a full force. Jared let them stay on the bed a few minutes longer before shooing them off the bed. Jared was about to crash, Jensen could tell, so he got him his pain meds and laid him down.

“Don’t go, Jen, please?”

“I’m not, I’m going to be here until Gen comes so you won’t be alone and then I’m going back to my hotel room,” well, check out a new hotel room.

“No,” he said petulantly, “I don’t want Gen I want you here.”

“Jared, I think it’s better we take some space. Gen will take care of you, I know it and you know it.”

There was silence and Jensen thought Jared had fallen asleep. He was about to leave when he heard a mumble.

“What, Jay I can’t hear you.”

“I just want to be close to you. I know it’s good to have time apart so we can sort our thoughts and come back hopefully better so we can have a better relationship this time around but right now I’m in pain and scared and I want my best friend, husband, my love near me, please. Please don’t leave me alone,” he whispered out the last part.

“I won’t, Jay.”

Jensen got on the bed behind Jared. He spooned Jared while putting his arms around Jared, mindful of his wounds. Soon, both men fell into a deep sleep.

 

Jensen had woken up before Jared and cooked dinner. He had also talked to Alona to send something over that had been his and Jared. The only thing that survived in their house after Jensen’s drunken rage. Jen was just about to wake up Jared when he saw him coming out of his room, pale and shaking.

“Jared, you should’ve called out for me, you’re still too hurt to be walking without any help,” he chided.

Jensen helped Jared back to the bed and tucked him in. He turned to bring the soup he had made when he heard Jared mumbled, “I thought you had left.”

Jensen turned around, “Jay, I said I would stay. Besides, even if I did leave I would’ve told you first and called someone to come and stay with you.”

Jared looked up and stared at Jensen’s eyes before dropping his gaze; Jensen saw shame behind them. It disturbed him.

“What’s wrong, Jared?”

Jared bit his lips and kept his gaze down. After a few minutes of silence Jensen sighed, “just remember, I’m here. I may have been a jackass and worse, but I’m here now until you want me to leave.”

He got up and kissed the top of Jared’s head, “I’m going to bring you dinner. I made chicken soup, just like I made when you had colds.”

Jared kept silent and Jensen walked out to get Jared’s soup. He was wondering what was going on in Jared’s mind but there wasn’t much he could do now except be there and give Jared his food and meds.

 

Jared listened as Jensen’s footsteps retreated. Jared wished he could disappear. He had a horrible nightmare. He was being raped by Pellegrino but in his nightmare, Jensen had also been there. Jensen had been insulting Jared while he had been raped.

 _‘Useless, you’re a useless cunt that deserves every bad thing that has happened to you. Do you really think that I would ever want you_ back _? I hope you die, whore”_

Jared put his hands over his ears trying to drown the dream out but knew it was in his head. He started hitting his head with his fists.

“Okay, Jay, brought you dinner in bed—what’s wrong?” Jensen walked up to Jared and put the tray of food on top of the little dresser by the bed.

Jared wiped away tears, “Nothing, it’s stupid.”

Jensen got a hold of Jared’s hand and he couldn’t help but sob more. Why was Jensen still here? Jared was a loser that had gotten raped multiple times. He had betrayed Jensen, left him, and then got himself almost killed and here Jensen was, bringing him dinner instead of running away in disgust.

“This isn’t ‘nothing’ Jay, tell me what’s wrong or do you want me to call someone else, Meg maybe, Gen?”

Jared nodded no. He didn’t want anyone here but Jensen. Even as he felt unworthy of Jensen’s affection and love he still craved it like the selfish bastard he was. He should’ve just told Jensen to leave so he could make his own life, away from the train wreck that was Jared.

“Jared, you’re not,” he took a deep breath, “you’re not _blaming_ yourself for what happened are you?”

Jared turned his face away; it seemed to be everything Jensen needed.

“Oh Jay, come here,” Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared and Jared couldn’t hold back tears. He should pull away from Jensen he should; he burrowed himself deeper Jensen’s arms. Silence reigned for a while before Jensen pulled away first. Jared was disappointed.

“Better?”

Jared nodded, “You think you can eat?”

Another nod; Jensen frowned, “You’re not going to just nod the whole time are you?”

Jared was about to nod no when he opened his mouth, “No.”

“Okay,” Jensen got the soup and gave it to Jared, it was lukewarm now. Jared ate in silence while Jensen watched. He finished in record time and put the plate to the side. Jensen immediately took it and went out to put in the sink. Jared took that time to think.

Jared hadn’t contacted Jensen to tell him the truth because he was trying to protect Jensen. Pellegrino had threatened to kill Jensen if he ever talked to him after the divorce so Jared had isolated himself. Now he knew that it had been for nothing; Pellegrino had no power in the Mafia anymore. He had no more friends in high places. Jared turned to his sighed and fought back tears. He didn’t notice that Jensen had entered until he saw some pills and a glass of water enter his line of vision.

“What’s wrong, Jay? Please talk to me. If you don’t want to we can get a therapist or something. You can’t keep all of this shit bottled up, I can’t stand to see you miserable.”

Jared took the pills and drank the water. He pulled the blankets up to his chin. He heard Jensen sigh and Jared was afraid that Jensen would leave or not sleep with him tonight. Jared felt the bed dip behind him and he felt a little lighter.

“I could’ve told you everything,” Jared felt Jensen tense, “But Pellegrino had threatened you. He said if I ever opened my big mouth he would get his Mafia friends to kill you in front of me. That he would rape me in front of you and then have his friends slit your throat just as he came inside of me. He said the last thing you would see is me with his dick up my ass.”

Jared broke down crying, unable to keep it in any longer. Jensen put his arms around Jared and let the only man he had ever loved fall asleep weeping in his arms.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone they are their own persons  
> All mistakes are my own  
> Enjoy

Two months and eight days after Jared’s hospital release he was finally given the all-clear from the doctors. Three days after that Jensen was helping Jared pack the few boxes—he still didn’t want Jared excreting himself too much—he had into the new used all-terrain Jeep Jensen had gotten for Jared. Jensen had wanted to get Jared a new one but he had straight up refused and just getting him to accept the used one had been enough of a challenge. So Jensen bought the most reliable one he could find and still took it to a mechanic to have checked over and made it as safe as he could for Jared.

“There we go the last box.”

Jared smiled at Jensen and Jensen ate it up, who knows when he’ll be able to see that smile in real life again.

“Thanks, Jen, for everything.”

“It was nothing Jared jut a few boxes.”

Jared gave Jensen an indulgent smile, “Not only that but for staying with me for all these weeks and putting up with my crap.”

Jensen frowned, “I wasn’t putting up with anything, Jay, I _wanted_ to be here. Everything you went through and the consequences of those actions isn't crap either, they’re something that has left an imprint in you and I am one of those reasons, too. The least I could do was help you through it all, love.”

Jared gave Jensen another warm smile and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Jensen savored the warmth that was left afterward wishing he could hold on to it forever; hold on to Jared forever. He closed the trunk instead.

 

Jared rolled his eyes while listening to his siblings’ last attempt to get him to stay. Gen had, thankfully, backed off and Jensen had supported his decision all the way through. Now if he could only get his brother and sister’s approval.

“C’mon Jay, you just got the doctor’s approval what if something happens or they missed something important?”

“I’ll be fine, Jeff, besides, you also checked me out.”

“I could be wrong,” he said petulantly. Jared rolled his eyes, “I highly doubt it.”

Eventually, both his siblings decided to let him go and reluctantly said their goodbyes, “Keep in touch, I’ll be in the online chat room every night at nine so I can talk to you, and I mean every night,” his sister reminded him.

Jared smiled, “I’ll be on it and also call you in the morning so we can talk for a few minutes.”

“You better, mister,” Jared hugged his sister and turned to his brother.

“Remember, if you feel even a little off get to the hospital as soon as you can. Take the rest of your medication and do not, for the love of God, do any strenuous work for the next month or so.”

Jared blinked, “But then how am I going to cut wood to keep me warm?”

Jeff’s eyes widened comically, “Kidding, Jeff, they have central heating and air conditioning.”

Jeff scowled, “That’s not funny, Jared, call me as soon as you get there and don’t do anything stupid.”

“Damn, that definitely bars me from jumping off a cliff,” Jeff gave Jared a light punch then he pulled his younger brother in and gave him a hug.

“I’ll be fine, Jeff, promise.”

“You’d better be, just for the record, though, I still am totally against this.”

“Noted,” Jared turned to Gen who had tears streaming down her face, “I know you’ve made up your mind so I’m not going to try to convince you to stay but please keep in touch.”

“Will do,” Gen folded Jared into a hug and then gave him a peck on the cheek.

Jensen was already in the Jeep. He was going to help Jared drive the fourteen plus hours to the cabin he was staying at. Jensen had a ticket to fly back to LA to continue working in his company. Jared almost said no, thinking it unfair for Jensen to have to do more but a selfish part of him couldn’t. Jared got into the Jeep and waved goodbye to his family and friend, the two dogs in the backseat putting their heads out of the window tongues lolling out.

 

They spent the first hour in compatible silence, music from their mix CD filling the car. Both dogs had gotten bored at staring at the passing cars and had dozed off; Jensen doubted that would last long. Jared was beside him staring into space. Jensen wondered what he was thinking. He didn’t ask. It wasn’t until another thirty minutes passed that Jared spoke.

“Thanks for understanding and not trying to talk me out of it.”

“No problem, Jay, I understand that sometimes, after shit hits the fan, you just want to be alone for a while. At least you’re not doing anything self-destructive,” Jensen said as he recalled his drinking problem.

“You mean your alcoholism,” Jensen tensed, “Sorry, shouldn’t have brought it up,” Jared whispered.

“You, uh, you know about that, huh,” Jensen fought the urge to scratch the back of his neck out of guilt.

“Yeah, after you showed up on my doorsteps I couldn’t help but Google you, I was curious,” he tried to defend himself. Jensen understood, though.

“It’s okay, Jay, I know, besides, it’s not like it was a secret, I’m just surprised you found out about it until after I showed up.”

Jared shrugged, “I didn’t really watch TV or got on the internet wanting to avoid…I just didn’t get on them much.”

Jensen said nothing and continued driving.

 

It was almost nightfall when they arrived at the little town that was closest to where Jared was staying. They would’ve driven the whole way but Jensen had to hail a cab in the little town to reach the nearest airport. Jared got out of the car to go to the driver side. He really didn’t want Jensen to leave but they both needed their space.

He felt a finger under his chin and was soon eye to eye to Jensen, “It’s okay sweetie, this will be good for you, and better for us in the long run.”

Jared nodded and suddenly hugged Jensen. He knew it was his idea to be apart for a while and he knew this would be good for him but he just couldn’t help but want to freeze the moment in time and let Jensen and himself stay in that perfect little moment for the rest of eternity. Unfortunately, it ended too soon.

“Hey, before we leave, I have something for you,” Jared stared after Jensen, confused when he came back with a bulky shape wrapped in colorful paper.

“Open it when you get to the cabin,” Jensen said as he handed him the present.

“Okay, I’ll miss you, Jen.”

“Me too, Jay, but we’ll talk to each other every day through video chat and when you feel you’re ready to give us another chance we’ll pick up where we left off and help each other heal.”

Jared smiled, on of the promises that Jensen took out of him was that when they started being truly together again they would both go to therapy. Jared hadn’t wanted to but saw the merits of doing so. However, he refused to go to therapy in the small town by himself.

“Take care, baby, don’t let anything happen to you and most of all, have fun, be happy, okay?”

Jared nodded and threw himself at Jensen and gave him a passionate kiss. Jensen 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it being so short and taking so long but the next chapter will be the last one and it’ll be longer. Thank you so much for staying with me so long.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who had stayed with me and this fic this whole time. I’m sorry for taking so long to update but unfortunately, real life sometimes gets in the way. Thanks for all the comments and kudos. This is the last chapter but hopefully, you guys will like how it ended. Quick warning there is sex in this chapter. Once again, thank you.
> 
> Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone recognizable, they belong to themselves
> 
> I hope you enjoy

 

Jared started unpacking the next day. When he had gotten to the little cottage he had been too emotionally and physically drained. As soon as he had arrived he had hit the sack and didn’t wake up until he felt two wet tongues licking his face. He opened one eye to see both dogs vibrating with barely contained energy. He couldn’t help but laugh and opened the door so both dogs could explore the great outdoors. Jared stared at them for a few minutes before going back inside the little cottage.

The night before Jared had been too tired to notice the little cottage but that morning he was rested and is eyes liked what he saw. The cottage was small and only had the living room with a couch, a T.V, a fireplace, and a little desk. There was a small kitchen to the side with a fridge and two cabinets and a small ladder that went up to a little loft were a small bed were set up. It was perfect.

Jared went outside and watched the dogs run around. It was only six in the morning and the sun was barely over the horizon. There was a lake that he could see from the back of the cabin that had a little dock that was perfect for fishing. Maybe he’d learn how to fish. Jared went inside and made a cup of coffee and sat on the back of the porch to see the placid lake. He gave a small smile as felt a bit of peace enter him.

Unfortunately, soon Jared had to leave the picturesque setting and start unpacking. It wasn’t much and he knew he could do anything including putting unpacking off as long as he wanted but he knew if he didn’t do it then it would never be done. It didn’t take him more than thirty minutes to get everything ready and by that point he was hungry. He got up to go to the kitchen when he saw the wrapped gift Jensen had given him before they separated the night before.

Jared picked up and couldn’t help but weigh it. He frowned, there was something familiar about it…but it couldn’t be, right? Jared started unwrapping the gift slowly, reverently. When he finished he held a crooked statue of an angel in the palm of his hands. He couldn’t help but tear up a little.

During Jared’s freshman year of university, he had taken a sculpting class as an elective. His second major project had been to sculpt someone. Jared had decided to do Jensen. He had gotten a ‘B’ but he thought his professor was just being generous, the thing looked nothing like Jensen. The hips were a little crooked and the wings he had tried to give the little sculpture were misshapen and asymmetrical to each other. When he had given Jensen the little thing he had laughed and said he loved it.

Jared had tears running down his face as he stared at it. When he left he thought Jensen would throw away everything that could and would remind him of Jared. It turned out he didn’t throw away the one gift that Jared had given him. Jared brought the little angel sculpture of Jensen up to his chest and hugged it for a few minutes. He was broken out of it hearing the barks of the dogs.

He got up laughing as he opened the door for them, “Okay, okay, I’m here,” they went up to Jared and started whining and giving little barks; they must have been hungry. Come to think of it, he was, too. He looked at the time and saw it was almost eight in the morning. He fed the dogs and ate some toast and two sunny side eggs. Once he was finished he sat down on the sofa with the land phone in his hand.

Jensen had gone back to LA where he had his headquarters so it wouldn’t be six in the morning yet. He knew Jensen was usually up at seven but he also knew Jensen probably went home around three in the morning so he was probably still asleep. He decided to call Jeff first, after all, they were in the same time zone and Jared knew that his brother was probably up to help dress the kids and to get to work. Jared waited as the phone rang and finally, after a few rings, someone picked up.

“Padalecki’s residence, Jeff speaking.”

“Jeff, it’s me—,”

“Jared! Why didn’t you call me when you got to the cabin yesterday? I was worried but I didn’t have the number and your phone went straight to voicemail, is everything okay? You’re not in pain, right?”

“I’m fine, Jeff, stop worrying,” Jared rolled his eyes at his older brother, “I got here late and I was exhausted and crashed into bed. I’m sorry for not calling you earlier and making you worry but you have to stop. I’m a big boy and I doubt anything is going to happen to me out here.”

“Obviously you haven’t seen horror movies, most of them are set in cabins in the middle of the woods, hey, _do not_ put that in your mouth, spit it out,” there were signs of struggles through the phone and Jared couldn’t help but smile. His niece and nephew were a hand full.

“Sorry about that, Nathan had something in his mouth that he didn’t want to spit out.”

“I understand,” Jared answered with a hint of laughter in his voice, “I should probably let you go so you can get through your morning routine. You have this number on your caller ID now?”

“Yeah, I’ll save it and talk to you later. Hey, call Meg, she’s worried, too, especially after you didn’t call last night.”

Jared sighed, it seemed his siblings were always going to worry about him, “I will, I call her right now, talk to you later, and Jeff,”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m your older brother, I’m supposed to worry about you.”

Jared smiled and hung up after saying one last goodbye. As soon as he hung up on Jeff he called Meg. She answered right away as if she was waiting for his call.

“Jared, is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“I’m so glad you called, I was getting worried. So did you get there okay?”

“Yeah, I got here late at night and I was tired so went straight to bed, sorry I didn't call earlier.”

“No, it’s okay, I understand. So how is it?”

“It’s, it’s so nice. I'm surrounded by trees and fresh air. Get this, there’s also a lake in the back yard.  I might have to get a little cottage myself so I can go vacation there.”

Meg laughed, “So, have you talked to Jensen yet?”

“No, it’s only a little past six there, he might be sleeping and I don’t want to wake him up.”

“Is that the only reason you haven’t called him yet?”

Jared felt his face heating, he was kind of avoiding calling Jensen, what if he had come to his senses and didn’t want to talk to Jared maybe wipe his hands clean of his stupid ex-husband?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he answered mulishly.

“Jared, that man has stayed with you since you’ve been stabbed, he has begged for forgiveness to both me and Jeff, and I’m pretty sure to you, too. Do you really think he doesn’t want anything to do with you after having stayed all these months with you _and_ driving you up there for over fourteen hours? Jay, you need to stop thinking badly about yourself and let people in, let Jensen in, he isn’t playing you or doing this out of guilt. I know this for a fact.”

“I’m scared,” he whispered softly.

“I know,” Meg answered him, her voice softening, “but you can’t let that fear always control you, Jay.”

“Okay, I will,” he said.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good, now I have to go, the kids are ready and they need to get to school. Remember I’ll be in the chat room at nine so don’t forget to be there, too.”

“I won’t.”

 

It took Jared another two hours before he finally called Jensen. He took a deep breath and dialed Jensen’s number; Jensen answered before the second ring.

“Jay, is that you, baby?”

Jared felt the tension he didn’t even know he was holding seep out of his body, “Yeah, it’s me.”

“It’s nice to hear your voice, Jay, I’ve missed you.”

“It hasn’t even been twelve hours, Jen, how can you miss me already?”

“Baby, I was missing you even as we were driving up to Nebraska.”

Jared giggled, “that’s nice to hear though I am sorry to hear how much you’re missing me.”

“Do you, I mean, do you miss me, Jay,” Jensen asked with such a pitiful sounding voice that Jared felt himself soften even more towards him, “Of course I have, I’ve been missing you for years now Jen and I’m so happy that we are going to work this out so we can be together again.”

“Me too, baby,” there was silence on the other line for a few seconds, “so, how’s the cabin?”

Jared rolled his eyes, Jensen made cottage sound like a bad word, “It’s a cottage, okay, a cottage in the forest that has a lake behind it.”

“I’m sorry but all I’m hearing is a cabin in the woods where there’s a lake behind it that could have Jason coming out at any moment.”

“Seriously, Jen, you need to stop watching so many horror movies, they’re making you paranoid.”

“Or, they’re teaching me how to survive if I’m ever in that situation.”

“Sure, Jen, a masked man is going to come out of a lake with a machete and start killing me.”

“I can hear you rolling your eyes, Jay,” Jensen said in a petulant voice, “All joking aside, how do you feel there?”

“I feel good, real good. The air is fresh, there is a lot of open space, and the best part is their’s no people around. It’s just me, the dogs, and Mother Nature though I do wish you were here,” he told Jensen shyly.

“I wish I was too, but you need this Jared, it’ll be good for you, for us, in the long run.”

“I hope so, I want us to be the way we were but I’m still afraid of—well of, you know.”

“I know sweetie, I know and like I said it’ll be good for you,” Jared heard a woman’s irritated voice interrupting Jensen, “Is that Alona? Tell her I say hi.”

“Yes, it’s Alona, and she acts like she’s the boss around here when _in reality I’m the boss._ ”

Jared giggled, “Well if you're busy with work—wait, how long have you been awake it’s only like eight there.”

“Well, I was kind of waiting for your call,” Jensen trailed off, his voice sounding sheepish.

Jared couldn’t help but smile, “Silly, I’ve been avoiding calling you so early because I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Actually, I usually wake at four in the morning.”

“Seriously, since when.”

There was silence for a few seconds before it clicked, “Oh, um, sorry, Jen.”

“It’s fine, baby, I regret ever letting you go like that. I was so stupid.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Jay, it was mine I should—I should’ve said something instead of keeping my mouth shut no matter how scared I was.”

“It’s fine, Jay, it wasn’t your fault, I’ve told you that before and I will keep saying so until you believe it.”

Jared didn’t know what to say so he changed the subject, “I, uh, I opened the gift you gave me last night. I can’t believe you kept after everything, you know.”

“I couldn’t get rid of it and, I’m glad  I didn’t if not I would’ve lost something precious to me and not just the statue, Jay.”

Jared smiled, “You wouldn’t have lost me anyway. I love you, Jensen.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

“I should let you go, you have to work.”

Jensen groaned, “I’d rather talk with you, Jay.”

Jared laughed, “Well, we’ll chat online tonight. What time should I call you?”

“I don’t know, maybe seven your time?”

“It’s a date.”

“Great, can’t wait to talk to you then.”

“Bye, Jay,”

“Bye, Jen.”

Jared didn’t hang up and he could hear Jensen breathing on the other line. He heard a groan, “we are _not_ doing the whole teenage phase of ‘you hang up first,’ are we?”

“I don’t know, it could be fun,” Jared answered with a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Yeah, it could be,” Jared heard Jensen curse and he could guess the reason for it.

“Jen, I’ll let you go, sounds like you’re busy.”

Jensen sighed, “I don’t want you to go.”

Jared grinned, “Don’t worry, I’ll call you tonight. Have a great day, Jen.”

“You too, I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Jared reluctantly hung up.

 

It was seven o’clock in the evening and Jared was feeling lonely. Jensen had warned him yesterday that he wouldn’t be able to video chat with Jared because of an important meeting he just couldn’t miss. Jared understood, after all, Jensen had been paying Jared non-stop attention since Jared had moved up there. Jensen really needed to put his business back on track again. That didn’t mean Jared didn’t miss talking to Jensen.

 It had been five months since he had moved up to the little cottage and while Jared had, for the most part, come to terms with everything that happened to him he still knew he had a long way to go to fully recover again. Jared shivered a little and went to turn up the thermostat. It was only the middle of October but in the middle of Nebraska’s forest, it was cold enough to be in the low thirties, in the daytime, at night it reached the lower teens.  

Jared went back to the couch, got the warm, fluffy blanket on it and cuddled himself in as well as he could. He had just gotten comfortable when he heard a knock on the door. Jared felt himself freeze. Who could be out in the wilderness in the middle of the night on a cold winter night? Thoughts of Jensen’s teasing of a madman serial killer started dancing in his mind. Both dogs had gotten up off the floor and were wagging their tales like it was someone they knew. Jared took a deep breath, there’s no way it could be a serial killer, it was most likely a lost hiker looking for help. Jared peeked through the little hole on the door and did a double-take before quickly opening the door for the person on the other side; the two dogs went crazy with excitement.

“Jensen,” Jared silently breathed out.

Jensen gave a huge smile, “Hi, sweetheart, are you going to let me in or should we both freeze our asses off staring at each other?”

Jared quickly moved to the side to let Jensen in before shutting the door.  He couldn’t help but feel happy and excited with Jensen for showing up.

“I thought you said you had an important meeting you just couldn’t miss.”

“I do, I’m at it right now talking to the only person who really matters,” Jared felt his insides warm despite the cold and felt a huge smile grace his face; it actually hurt a little from how big it was. Jared then ran up towards Jensen and tackled him with a hug and an ‘umph’ leaving Jensen.

“I’m glad you’re here, I missed you,” Jared felt two strong arms enclose him.

“I’ve missed you, too, sweet boy.”

 

“You should’ve told me you were coming I would’ve had a chance to go to town and make you something better,” Jared said while handing Jensen a bowl of soup that had come from a can.

“That,” he started replying while pointing the spoon towards Jared, “would’ve ruined the surprise. Besides, it’s cold as balls out there, trust me, this soup is _more than_ enough.”

Jared watched with a smile on his face as Jensen ate his soup with gusto. He was so glad to have Jensen here with him even if it probably wouldn’t be for long. Jared’s smile fell a little, “Jen, um, I was wondering, how long are you staying here with me?”

Jensen put down the now empty bowl and smiled at Jared, “I took a two-month leave but I know you also wanted to figure yourself out here so I can stay as little as one hour or as much as two months,” Jensen tucked a loose lock of hair behind Jared’s ear, “it’s up to you, baby.”

Jared smiled widened again, “So are you done? We could go watch some T.V. and cuddle on the sofa,” suddenly Jared shyly added, “you know, if you _want_ to cuddle.”

Jensen smiled at Jared, “I would like nothing more.”

 

Jensen woke up to a chilly room. He could hear the wind outside the little cabin shrieking like a dying witch. He looked around and noticed how dark it was. Well, it _was_ two A.M. but Jared and Jensen had fallen asleep on the couch watching T.V. and with all the lights on. Now there were no lights and the T.V. was blank. He got off the couch and away from Jared’s warm body and immediately shivered; holy fuck was it cold! Jensen tucked the blanket around Jared so he wouldn’t get cold without Jensen by his side. Jensen couldn’t help but smile when Jared sighed and burrowed himself deeper into the blanket. Jensen went to try out the light switch even though he knew it was pointless. Damn it, no light, no heat, and it was arctic outside and in the cabin.

“Jen,” Jared was waking up, his eyes were bleary and Jensen couldn’t help but find it adorable when he rubbed them like a child, “What’s going on, it’s freezing.”

“Lights seemed to have gone out, is there a backup generator,” there better be or Jensen was going to sue the owners for leaving Jared without one in the middle of the forest.

“Yeah, it’s outside, in the garage.”

“Do you have a flashlight,” Jensen asked.

“Yeah, it’s in the kitchen cabinet, but I think I should go, I know the area better and won’t bumble around as much in the cold.”

Jensen went up to Jared and kissed his forehead, “Well, maybe I don’t want your pretty little butt from freezing tonight, I’ll do it, it’s the least I can do, Jay.”

Jared got off the sofa and walked up to Jensen, “Jen, I know you’re trying to protect me and I appreciate it but I can stand a little cold.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, he knew Jared was stubborn and he didn’t want to argue, “fine, compromise, we go together, is that better?”

Jared huffed, “Fine, but first, we should really dress for the weather because if we go out barefoot and in pajamas we’ll die of hypothermia before we reach the garage.”

“I won’t argue with that,” Jensen answered (mostly because when Jared argued he got a cute little wrinkle in the middle of his forehead that gave Jensen the need to kiss it away), and then kissed the tip of Jared’s nose; Jared giggled. They quickly put on their winter clothes. Jensen opened the door with Jared following right behind them when they both froze.

It was snowing hard, it was basically a blizzard. Jensen could feel the wind trying to push him back inside and he knew it would be hell trying to get to the garage. He could barely see five inches in front of him and the garage was a little far away.

“Um, you know, there is a fireplace here and I have stocked up on logs, maybe we can just sleep in front of the fireplace and crank up the generator tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, I think that’s best, Jay.”

Jensen closed the door and Jared immediately went into a little closet where he had the firewood dry and ready for the fireplace. Jared walked up to Jensen were he was ready for the log.

“Good thing you keep this clean,” Jensen said as he started the fire.

“Yeah, it’s definitely.”

Jensen continued tending the fire while keeping an eye on Jared as he took pillows and blankets from up the ladder and threw them to the floor. He then came down and started making a little love nest for the two of them; Jensen couldn’t wait to cuddle up with Jared while they warmed each other up.

“I think the fire’s good, Jen, come over here,” Jensen didn’t have to be told twice. He got under the covers with Jared and immediately drew him up to his chest.

“I’m sorry you came when a huge ass blizzard decided to show up. It must’ve been sudden because I didn’t hear anything about it on the news yesterday.”

“It’s fine, sweet pea, besides I get to cuddle with you on the floor by a fireplace. I say this is perfect and romantic,” Jensen couldn’t help but put his face (lips) closer to Jared’s with every word he said. He paused just an inch away from Jared asking for permission. He didn’t have to wait as Jared assaulted his mouth and Jensen was more than happy for it.

They both made out for minutes, going slow and gently tasting each other. Every once in a while there would be a sigh or a moan of pleasure. Jensen didn’t want it to end. Soon the kissing became hot and heavy and Jensen felt Jared start pulling at Jensen’s shirt to take it off. Jensen broke off the kiss and Jared made a wounded sound that pierced to Jensen’s heart.

“You don’t want me,” Jared asked with unshed tears gathering his eyes.

“No, I do, Jay, God I want you so badly it hurts but are _you_ sure this is what you want? I don’t want you doing something you’ll regret later.”

“I’m not going to regret it later, Jen. All this time I’ve been up here I’ve had time to think, to really think about what happened. It happened and it sucked and it was horrible and led to our divorce but I can’t let it keep holding me back, I can’t let _him_ rule my life. I want you now, I’m ready, Jen, I promise.”

Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes and past the lust, there was also truth and determination. Once Jensen saw that he couldn’t help but ravish Jared’s mouth while trying to take Jared’s clothes off. Jared was doing the same to Jensen’s. It didn’t take long for both men to end up naked, feeling each other’s skin, caressing each other’s body. Jensen was going slow, worshipping Jared’s body, taking his time.

The last time Jensen had had Jared underneath him he had been angry for a slight that wasn’t his fault. Jensen had used Jared and then discarded him like trash. This time Jensen was doing it right and was going to show Jared how much he meant to him. Jensen kissed Jared from his abs, up to his chest, he couldn’t help but play with Jared’s nipples with his mouth, all the way up to Jared’s neck where he left his mark. The more Jensen nibbled and kissed the harder he could feel Jared and him getting.

He broke off the kissing and couldn’t help but smile at Jared’s disappointed groan, “I know babe, but I just got to find something that we can use as lube.”

“Actually, there’s some in the drawer by the sofa,” Jared said while blushing. Jensen kissed him once more on the lips and fished around in the drawer until he came out with a bottle of lube. Jensen smiled and immediately went back to Jared.

As soon as he was over Jared, he parted his legs so Jensen could have better access and a better look at his naked body. It was glorious. Jensen looked for a long time, soaking it in, before he heard Jared whining, “Jensen, c’mon, I want you inside of me, now!”

Jensen couldn’t help but chuckle, “impatient, aren’t we?”

“Yes, now hurry up,” Jared whined, Jensen decided he had tortured Jared enough and squeezed out a good amount of lube onto his finger. He warmed it up with his fingers a little and then went for Jared’s hole. Holy fuck was it tight.

Jared whined a little as he felt Jensen enter him with just one finger, he glared at Jensen when he didn’t push in further, “Why’d you stop,” he asked, annoyed.

“Jay, you flinched a little, I’m just trying to take it slow, baby, but I promise once you’re good and open I am…going to rock…your world,” Jensen punctuated each word with a deeper thrust into Jared with his finger.

Jared parted his thighs more to allow Jensen better access. He gave a shout when he felt Jensen’s hot mouth on his cock. Between Jensen’s finger in his ass and Jensen’s mouth on his dick, Jared felt like he was in Heaven. Unfortunately, Jared felt Jensen was going too slow and start squeezing around Jensen’s finger. Jensen moaned right into Jared’s cock.

“I’m ready for more, Jen, please, I need you so badly.”

Jen got off Jared’s member with a pop and kissed him right under his belly button sending another wave of pleasure even as he was bereft of Jensen’s mouth. After all the years of celibacy, it seemed like every part of Jared had become an erogenous zone and it was driving Jared crazy with lust.

“Who am I to deny my perfect boy anything,” Jensen asked. It had Jared blushing and hot and bothered.

Jared felt a second finger entering him. He felt like he was floating and then Jensen started playing with his pleasure nub; it had Jared shouting and humping the air. Jensen had Jared panting and moaning and sweating. The pleasure he felt coursing through his body was driving Jared to insanity, then he felt a third finger enter. The ground started moving underneath him.

He hugged Jensen closer to him to kiss Jensen. The kissing combined with the burning pleasure/pain of the stretching was taking Jared to new heights. Jensen then stopped kissing Jared and started sucking his neck all the way down his chest to his abs all the way back up.

Jensen broke the kiss and looked straight into Jared's eyes, Jared felt himself melt even further looking into those beautiful, lust-filled green eyes, “You think you’re ready?”

Jared couldn’t really talk he just nodded yes and squeezed around Jensen’s fingers; he couldn’t help but smile when he heard Jensen curse. Soon that smile was wiped off as he felt Jensen’s length filling him up. Jared’s mouth became an ‘o’ shape with just deep breaths coming out as he couldn't make any sounds. Jared felt connected to Jensen and he had never felt complete in his entire life. He couldn’t help but put his arms around Jensen’s shoulder and leave claw marks on his back as Jensen slowly filled Jared up with his length. When he bottomed out Jared put his heels around Jensen’s back trying to take him deeper.

Jensen felt as if he’d come home after a long time away from it. Being inside of Jared was indescribable. Jensen felt Jared’s inner muscles working on his cock and Jensen knew that once he moved it would feel even better and he wanted Jared to get used to being full again. Jensen could feel how tight Jared was and didn’t want to hurt him, just bring him pleasure.

“You feel so good around me, baby, I feel like I’m home when I’m in you.”

“Me too, Jen, I feel connected and whole.”

Jensen kissed Jared while he started moving his hips, he started slowly at first but soon they were both in a frenzy, chasing their pleasure; trying to get as close as they physically could to each other. Soon, all Jensen could concentrate on was giving Jared pleasure and chasing after his own; the whole Universe had just become them two. Jensen hit Jared’s prostate every time he pumped in and out of Jared. Jared really wanted to make it last but after years of not cumming, he exploded with just a few pumps. Jared felt his orgasm would continue forever until he felt Jensen’s hot cum in him. His dick gave one last pathetic squirt and then he went limp. He felt Jensen fall on top of him and instead of feeling uncomfortable he felt safe and warm.

They stayed sprawled on the floor, breathing hard, for a couple of minutes. All too soon, though Jensen pulled of Jared. Jared mewled when he felt the emptiness inside of him. He wanted Jensen with him, near him, around him. Now he was gone and Jared was bereft of his Jensen.

“I know, sweetie, but I have to clean you up. I can’t just leave you dirty like that,” he said.

“Yes you can, come back here,” Jared demanded.

Jensen laughed, “So bossy,” he still got up and it had Jared pouting.

Jensen came back with his own discarded shirt and started cleaning Jared’s belly and thighs. Jensen couldn’t help but hum while he took care of Jared. He felt so much better, he felt lighter, complete and it was all thanks to the man before him.

Jensen couldn’t help but give Jared a kiss, “I love you, so much. Thank you, for accepting me back even after everything.”

Jensen felt his mood shift as he remembered how he had treated Jared. Before he could really start condemning himself, though, he felt a light slap on his chest.

“Stop that, hold me instead, please?”

Jensen didn’t have to be told twice. He scooped Jared up to his chest and then tried to get them both comfortable. They stayed in each other’s arms, content to just be close to one another. Jared was touching Jensen’s abs and muscles.

“When you’d get so muscly?”

“Hm, well, after our divorce,” the last word literally hurt to get through his mouth, “and after I came out of rehab I had to find a new outlet so I kept going to the gym. This is the end result of that.”

“Hmm, I’m sorry.”

Jensen kissed the top of Jared’s head, “There’s nothing to apologize for, besides I’m stronger now which means I can protect you better and you seem to really love my new body.”

“I love you no matter how you, however, I won’t deny that I love your strong muscles, my Hercules.”

Jensen couldn’t help but preen under Jared’s compliments. They stayed like that most of the night, content to talk and touch each other. It wasn’t until after five that they both fell asleep in each other’s arms. For the first time in a long time, each man felt at peace.

 

Jensen and Jared were moving into their new house. Jensen had sold their old house after the divorce and Jared didn’t really mind. There were too many bad memories buried in that house.

“It’s a new start,” Jensen had proclaimed and Jared couldn’t have agreed more. Jare put up the little angel statue on a table and light hit the band of his engagement ring. When Jensen had met up with Jared at the airport in LA he had surprised Jared by asking him to marry him again. Jared had quickly said yes and hugged Jensen. Their second wedding was just a few weeks away and Jared couldn’t wait to be Jensen’s husband again.

Jared picked up the newspaper and couldn’t help but read the headline: ‘Mark Pellegrino Found Dead in His Cell.’

Apparently, Pellegrino had tried to make a deal to get a lower sentence by ratting on the mafia. He hadn’t survived that plan.

“Jay, are you set on that color for the bedroom because I thin—Jared, are you okay?”

Jared was crying in the middle of the living room with a newspaper in his hand. Jensen took it away from him knowing exactly what had caused this. It had been the third time that morning since he found out about Pellegrino.

“Hey baby, come here,” Jensen hugged Jared to him and kissed his cheeks, “It’s okay, Jay, he can’t hurt you, us anymore.”

“I just can’t believe he’s gone, I should feel happy but a part of me is still scared of him, you know.”

“I understand, baby, that’s why we have that appointment tomorrow. Trust me, it’ll help to talk about it.”

Two weeks after Jared had shown up to LA Jensen kept pushing Jared to seek professional help and every time he had refused. But after the nightmares he had after returning to LA Jared had finally caved and had his appointment the next day.

“It’ll fine sweetie pie, I promise.”

Jared gave a watery smile, “I’m glad you’re here with me for this. Thank you, Jen.”

Jensen gave Jared a kiss on the tip of his nose, “I love Jared and nothing will ever change that.”

Jared’s smile became more pronounced. It’s true they still had a way to go but together they would always survive whatever life threw at them.

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning, this story will get slow updates but it will be finished and I'll try to post as many chapters as possible.


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